Saturday, July 26, 2008

A Doctor's vocabulary vs. us common little people talk...

OK, so Jackson and I went to the Doctor on Tuesday morning. The Doctor said "Well, to be on the safe side, let's do a bone scan on him." I have since learned that there were a few things I did not read into this statement..... Here is what the Dr. says and what everyone who is not in the medical profession finds out later about what the Dr. tells you.

  • Dr. - We'll send you to Children's Hospital for a Bone Scan.
  • Us little people - They are referring us to the Nuclear Scanning Department at Children's Hospital
  • Dr. - They will inject a contrast that will show up on the scan. It is harmless.
  • Us little people - Injecting a radioactive material at the nuclear scanning department does not jive with "harmless" in most worlds.
  • Dr. - A Bone Scan is a precautionary measure to aid in the diagnosis of your child.
  • Us little people - A Bone Scan is two part procedure that takes about 3 hours. It includes injecting the radioactive contrast into your child right after they tape him down to a table. Not kidding, tape. Note to self, tape holds a child in place quite well. Then they scan his legs for 15 minutes while he screams his head off most of the time. You then get to come back in 2 hours for a whole body scan which includes a lot more tape and screaming. But luckily they don't need to inject him again. Too bad, he could have been a glow-worm for Halloween:) Oh yeah, they also decided they needed an X-Ray.
  • Dr. - If they find anything we will treat it with high-power antibiotics.
  • Us little people - If they find something you will be admitted immediately to the hospital so you should wear comfortable clothes and have a plan of what you will do with your other two kids for the 7-10 days you will probably have to stay in the hospital. Oh yeah, also, you will probably be on contact restriction so your child cannot leave the room and everyone who comes in will be gowned and gloved. AND there will be a big sign on you door about this so you feel like a leper. You can leave the room only to leave the hospital. No taking advantage of all the cool, fun stuff they have to offer. You will be stuck in a room with a 22 month old toddler who has an IV in their arm. AND every time they happen to fall asleep we will come in to poke, prod or do something that will make your toddler more angry:)
All that being said our Doctor and the people at Children's Hospital are a true Blessing from God and have been great! More funny stories and some pictures to come.

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.
Burt Bacharach (1928 - )


1 comment:

Liz said...

So what was the final diagnosis? That poor little guy. Needles, big scary machines and TAPE!! He's not going to want to go to the doctor again for a L-O-N-G time!!