Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Why boys will be boys...

I have found myself explaining boys/men to women a few times when I am out and about with the kids. It usually starts out by my complementing someone on their (her) son's behavior, cuteness, etc... You know, the stuff everyone says when making idle chit-chat. It is quite frequently followed up by something like "thank you, he is great when he isn't breaking something." I then impart some of my limited knowledge I have: "all boys and even men like to break stuff. Heck, I still like to break stuff, it is fun!" They usually respond with something like "really?"

I know it is hard for Women to understand and it is even harder to explain it to them but it really is fun to tear stuff up, break things, blow them up or just generally cause madness and mayhem. I don't know why it is that way but it is. It is sort of like explaining why water is wet. It just is:)

I am trying to keep this in mind when raising the Triplets. I try not to ask why they did something like hit, kick, or knock someone down. Mainly because I know why they did it... because it is FUN! Now I do try and find out if they were mad with their victim or not. As you know sometimes kids use actions or screaming where words would be much more appropriate. Like when a toy is stolen and the victim just hits the offender. I then try to get them to use their words.

But in those cases where I see it happen (and I know it was just the little beast inside all boys/men wanting to come out and play a little) that I take a different approach. See, while most if not all men like doing these things ALL men do not like having these things done to them. We'll see if it works or not long term with the Triplets but I can see the gears working when I ask them "do you like being hit?" or whatever the offense was. The answer is almost always "no." I then explain that if they don't like it then they should not do it to others and furthermore that if they do it then other people will think they like it and do it to them. On the off occasion one of my three is feeling like testing the line in the sand and says "yes, I like it".... well, let's just say they quickly change their mind and start saying "no, I don't like it" usually repeated several times in quick repetition:)

Funny how we start fighting the desires of "the flesh" so early. I hope and pray God helps me give my kids the tools they need to keep the little beast in them under control.

Here are a few pics of the boys... You can see William wanting to break the DVD in the first pic. In the next two they always have each others' backs:) Yes, William's foot was stuck and Jackson helped him get it out.



When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.
Elayne Boosler

Al

2 comments:

Rachel said...

Love the quote! Thanks for the reminder about boys...I've been told before, but it still bothers me to see my boys seem to enjoy destruction and "violence". It still has to be dealt with, but it's good to be reminded that it's ingrained and the fact that it is there has nothing to do with bad parenting.

tripsdad said...

This is so true!! It reminds me of an old e-mail forward that I recieved about what we learn as parents of boys, and one of the things was that mixing clorox and brake fluid creates an excessive amount of smoke. After reading the email, I (along with, I imagine, most other male readers) immediately ran to the garage to see if I had any break fluid. We truly are just wired this way, we can't help it!