Saturday, August 29, 2009

What is "providing for your family?" SAHD style

I have heard this verse used by a few people in a way that seems to attack the idea of SAHDs (stay at home Dads).

1 Timothy 5:8
If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

The first time I heard it was from John Hagee. I was recently reminded of the verse when a member of our Church said it during a Men's retreat. I don't think he was directing his comment toward SAHDs but it was directed to Men that don't work. To say that I have a vested interest in this "discussion" would be a HUGE understatement.

Our Preacher is very big on looking at the context of verses in the Bible. Huh, what a novel idea! It seems that this verse is under "Advise about widows." I did a little digging online and found a few commentaries:
I do not see the connection and it seems that many others do not see the connection between 1 Timothy 5:8 and SAHDs (stay at home dads). Where I do see a connection is between 1 Timothy 5:8 and 1 Corinthians 12 4-6. Seems that God does not just see "providing" as bringing in money.

To be fair, maybe they were just painting Men who don't "work" with a broad brush. Or maybe they were just in a moment of weakness and they did not take into account the SAHDs that take their role (job) as the primary caregiver very seriously.

If anything, people that say things like this make me sad for Christianity. No wonder people get turned of by "Christians." At our recent Men's Retreat we watched Gladiator and talked about what it says about Men and being a Christian Man. One friend pointed out that our tongues are the swords we use most often. The really bad thing about a sword is that it is sharp on both edges so that if it is rebuffed it can easily cut the handler as well.

I try REALLY hard to not judge others as the Bible does not speak well of those who judge others....
In short, I know several other SAHDs who feel as I do... this is God's calling for us at this time. By "us" I mean ALL of us, the Mommy and the Daddy. So before someone goes quoting scripture to back up "their view" of how things ought to be I think they may want to spend a little time cleaning the glass in their own house:)

Don't worry, I am not mad at people who say bad things about SAHDs. Doesn't the Lord command us to pray for our enemies? As one friend pointed out, it is hard to dislike someone you are praying for:)

Bless their hearts....


Lynn Leaming said...

There is a BIG difference between a stay at home dad and a slacker dad!! Anyone that reads your blog knows what a GREAT job you are doing with your kids and you are providing for them in eternal ways for sure!! The dads I have problems with are the ones that I see in the Food Pantry Ministry who sit in their cars and send their wives in to ask for food and bring it out the the car. That infuriates me! But like you said it is a great opportunity for me to pray for these men instead of judging them. May the Lord just continue to bless this special time you have with your children and if anyone accuses you of anything may it be that you are a Deuteronomy 6:6-8 dad!

d said...

Anyone who knows you or other stay at home dads (or moms for that matter) know that your work is just as hard or harder than any traditional job. I imagine the man at the retreat would agree if enlightened with the details of a day's work at home.

Forgive him as the Lord forgives you daily. And know you are tremendously loved and respected by your friends and the readers of your blog.

Ryan said...

Preach it brother...preach it.