Voice recognition software

Voice recognition software is a great idea... if you happen to be in the cone of silence!  Unfortunately for me I am perpetually in the funnel of noise to the third power.  Here is an example of a normal call to a company with the ever so helpful voice recognition software:

• Company: "Please say your account number"
• Me: "two, zero, five,.."
• Company: "I'm sorry, I didn't understand your entry, please say your account number"
• Me: louder this time "TWO, ZERO, FIVE, ..."
• Company: "I'm sorry, I didn't understand your entry, please say your account number"
• Me: louder this time "TWO, ZERO, FIVE, ..."
• Company: "I'm sorry I'm having a hard time understanding you, please wait while I connect you to a customer service agent"
• click... click.... click....
• Company: "To better expedite your call please say the number that best represents what you are calling about.  One for billing questions, two for service questions, three for new service..."
• Me: "Two"
• Company: "I'm sorry, I didn't understand your entry, please say the number that best represents...."

At this point I start yelling alternating between "OPERATOR" and "REPRESENTATIVE".  I usually get to someone.  How about a first menu that lets you choose between voice recognition and key inputs.  Something like "if you are in a vacuum of silence and you speak the Queen's English please say one to use our Voice unrecognition service."

Why is it that the more technology we invent to make life easier and give us more free time the more frustrated we are and the less free time we have?

The other weekend we did Breakfast with Santa at Church.  Good thing the CFO is detail oriented.  The kids got out clean and with some great keepsakes.  

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Fran Lebowitz 

Why can we remember the tiniest detail that has happened to us, and not remember how many times we have told it to the same person.

François de la Rochefoucauld

Al

Back in the saddle again

Well, I got another call from a friend last week asking if I was interested in doing some contract (temporary) recruiting work through March.  Being that I have SO much spare time and I just sit around watching Soap Operas and eating bon-bons I said yes.

The real reason is that it will allow us to save some money.  Not only will I be earning money but I also seem to spend less when I am working.  It seems that when I have more time on my hands I am real good at turning my wants into needs.  You know...  I "want" a headset for my video game.... then I "need" one because I can play without disturbing anyone else, while Roomba is cleaning, while the CFO is watching her shows on the laptop, without hearing the chat from other players, etc...   But then I "really need" the wireless surround sound one to the tune of $250.   No, I did not buy it.  I got an open box deal on a corded one, that the CFO tripped on, for $20.

This time I am going to try and balance work and life a bit better. Wish me luck:)

I never know how much of what I say is true.
Bette Midler 

Nothing will work unless you do.
Maya Angelou

Al

Never underestimate a four year old

Anyone who has had or been around kids knows not to underestimate them.  No, I am not talking about their strength.  They are right at crotch level so it is a dangerous time to be a Dad.  No, I am also not talking about how they repeat things they shouldn't at the precise time it would be most embarrassing. I am talking about what you expect them to do.

The other day Addison surprised me, well, they all did.  The trio were upstairs playing while I was cleaning up after breakfast.  I hear the usual "DADDY!!!!" yell from upstairs.  I get to the bottom of the stairs to see Addison looking down at me.  "Yes mam" I reply.  She says "Daddy, will you help me fix my bed?"  I start at her... "will you help me fix my bed, please?"  To which I reply "yes mam."  To my amazement it wasn't broken but rather un-made.  It seems that Mimi had shown them how to make their beds and she wanted to do it.  The boys quickly also made their beds.  Now they make their beds each morning.  How long does this last?

Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting.

John Russell

Al

What do you want for breakfast?

I like giving the Triplets choices:

• Where do you want to go today?
• How many "upgrades" do you want?
• What do you want for breakfast?

I usually get the normal choices from them for breakfast but William surprised me this morning.

• Dad: "William, what kind of cereal would you like for breakfast?"
• William: "I want the cereal with strawberry cuss words"

At first I was a little hesitant to ask just what those cuss words were.  I quickly took an inventory of the situations I have recently been in to assess the linguistic damage I had done.  I came up with nada.  That is not to say I am perfect with my word choices as in one of my many previous lives I saw cursing as an art form of sorts.

So I stilled myself and asked:

• Dad: "William, what kind of cuss words?"
• William: "Strawberry cuss words"

I still could not figure out what "strawberry cuss words" were.  They sometimes come home their day out program with new adjectives or nouns, depending their usage.  At least I think that is what they are.  I barely passed my 7th grade English class when we learned how to diagram sentences.  The one thing I did learn is routinely trampled today... when to use "well" vs "good".

Then it hit me.... "clusters."

Man has to suffer. When he has no real afflictions, he invents some.
Jose Marti

Some men storm imaginary Alps all their lives, and die in the foothills cursing difficulties which do not exist.
Edgar Watson Howe

Al

Go big or go home

I love that saying.  It personifies guys.  As the movie (which is awesome) Inception says "mussn't be afraid to dream a little bigger darling."  Right now I carry a Coast V2 flashlight.  It throws a nice 110 lumens that will outshine almost any other flashlight people carry.  It is great but it only throws a focused beam and only at 110 lumens.  So when you are looking for something in a car it can be a bit much.

So I have started looking around at other options.  I think I have a winner with the Coast T7.  It throws up to 200 lumens but also has a low setting of just 30 lumens.  It also has a speed focus that lets you have a focused beam (that will reach 689ft) or a dispersed beam.  The only downside is that I already look like a Batman wanna-be with all the stuff I carry and carrying a larger flashlight will only add to this.  But why only carry 110 lumens when you can have 200? :)

So I ordered the T7 and after carrying in for a few days I now know why I like my V2.  It doesn't pull my shorts down and it doesn't look like a police baton on my waist.  So the CFO is getting the T7 to carry in her purse.  But I guess that is only fitting as she has a 357 and I have a 9mm:)

Here are a few more pics from the Christmas Parade:

Everyone thought the low 40's were a bit chilly:)

Normally this is not something you want to see.... but luckily it was just the beginning  of the parade!

Yes!  All the Police cars and fire engines used their sirens!

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.

Henny Youngman

Orphans, dead parents, lonely children at Christmas, morose spoken word recordings, everything you love about the holidays. Move the turkey over so you can fit your head in the oven.
April Winchell

Al

Rewind... Halloween

I think/hope that I may have started another family tradition.  This past year the Triplets (with a little help from their Old Man) put together triplet scarecrows.  Of course, being a man, I totally forgot to take a picture of them!  Luckily the CFO asked if I got a picture of them and luckily we had not dismantled them yet.  So, right before decorating for Christmas we put up a little Halloween again for a photo op.

If bad decorating was a hanging offense, there'd be bodies hanging from every tree! 
Sylvester Stallone 

Our modern society is engaged in polishing and decorating the cage in which man is kept imprisoned.
Swami Nirmalananda

Al

Who is that knucklehead in shorts?

Since moving to Alabama we have talked about making it to Athens' Christmas Parade.  Well, we finally made it.  As one friend observed....yes, we drove four hours in one day to watch a parade:)  But not just any parade, it was about an hour and a half parade!  Not kidding.  There were two "breaks" in the parade to allow the parade participants to disperse without holding up everyone else.

To be fair, while some of the floats in the parade were awesome others were... well... let's just say it's the thought that counts:)  But some were just plain advertising with one string of lights on it.  Not kidding, there was a truck from a nationally known retail leader with just one string of Christmas lights on it.  Seriously?  But hey, the kids LOVED it!

On to the knucklehead, me.  Yes, it is once again Winter and I am still in shorts.  My general rule is that is if the high is above 30 degrees the shorts are a go.  Partly because I just do not like long pants.  This goes way back to my High School days.  Partly because I carry so much stuff that I need the cargo shorts and partly because I just like sticking it to "the man."  :)  Hey, I am a SAHD so I can thumb my nose at the man anytime I want.  I actually think I am not just entitled to do so but it is down right required of me.  Plus, at Church we are always talking about living in such a way to make people wonder what makes us different.  Maybe that is my new response to all the looks/questions I get about wearing shorts when it is cold.... "Hey, don't you know that it is cold buddy?"  "Yeah, but I love Jesus."  On second thought while very funny maybe it sends the wrong message.

We got home around 11pm and it was midnight before the CFO and I got to bed after clearing out the van, starting laundry, washing the sippy cups/dishes, and getting the Triplets' lunch ready for Friday.  Was it worth it?  Ya sure ya betcha!!  Memories are way better than sleep:)

Here is one of the coolest pics that the CFO took at the parade... with no editing.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
Mark Twain

The smaller the mind the greater the conceit.
Aesop

Al