The triplets SIZZLE!

I use to love this ride at the NC State Fair growing up. This, of course, is a scaled down version of the ride I loved. I have seen it called the Sizzler or the Scrambler. Either way, this ride is great and the kids loved it too. William rode with an older kid this time but enjoyed it just as much. Funny thing about William on these rides. ALL of the pictures of him show him with a serious look on his face. He would wait until the ride stopped then yell YEAH! and clap his hands. I guess he does not like to make premature judgements:)

Addison: "This is Great, poor on the speed!

William: "This kid next to me sure is big. At this speed I think we are pulling about .25 G's. Taking in to consideration that he probably weighs about 50 pounds, he is exerting about 12.5 lbs of force on the exterior of this car. Good thing I am on the interior of this ride or he may have caused some minor ecchymosis (bruising). Also, why are they using a bungee cord on this ride to secure the bar and a chain on others? I am curious about their reasoning behind that decision.




Jackson: "This ride is my favorite ride of the night! Not to mention it is already 30 minutes past my bedtime. Everything is better when you miss curfew"



An appropriate quote: "Fair" is something that comes to town once a year.

Al

The triplets are swingers....

Next up was the swings. I think the CFO almost threw up she was so nervous about them on this ride. Which is a role reversal for us. I am usually the one saying "I don't think that would be a good idea" or "no, it's too close to their bed time, don't get them rilled up." But this time I was not worried, it felt good:)

Addison: "This ride ROCKS! Doesn't my hair look great in the wind?



Jackson: "Whoa! This is almost as fast as Dad's company car, the minivan."


William: "I wonder what the top speed for this is. Of course you would have to be cautious taking into account the weight of the occupants, the centrifugal force increasing with speed and the tensile strength of these chains. I see why people enjoy this ride, it is fun, I like it."


Your mama so ugly she has to sneak up on a glass of water,

Al

Carnival!

No, not the Carnival in Rio... the one in Athens, Alabama. The Shriners put on a kiddie carnival each year. This was the first year for the trio. The kids rode four rides and had a GREAT time. Uncle Tommy, the local Bank President, got us tickets to all the rides!

This is the car ride.

Jackson... "Man, the chicks will dig this ride"

Addison... "Is this stick or automatic?"

William... "What kind of gas mileage does it get?"

Yes I really was up at 1:42 am - Kids stayed at the in-laws:)

Al

Who needs a shredder?

Sometimes joy comes in the mail! Now all the catalogs that we get actually give me a laugh. I start by offering them as rewards for the kids doing things... If you pick up your blocks I will give you a catalog. Funny side-bar. That is how we get them to want their diapers changed now. You want to throw away a diaper?... Let's go get you one, the one you have on that is:)

So we had some fun this afternoon with three recent arrivals. I loved the chaos that ensued. I am getting better about grabbing the camera. The CFO is usually the family Historian.





Please send more junk mail:)

Al

What a deal on diapers at Target!

OK, before I get to what the deal is, a little background. I am quite the conundrum if you have not figured it out yet. I have Robot vacuum cleaners but eat off the Wendy's $.99 menu, McDonald is $1 you know:) I drink Starbucks coffee (brewed at home) but I renew our change of address with the US Postal Service periodically to get a 10% off at Lowe's coupon.

OK, on to the deal.... If you buy two Jumbo packs(or whatever the suitcase sized packs are called) of Pampers you get a $10 gift card, at the register. NO waiting on a rebate or anything. Plus I had two $1.50 off coupons. So now the kids only poop in $.17 Pampers for a while instead of those hoity-toity $.22 Pampers from Wal-Mart:) I now also have two $5 off Target coupons (thank you Aunt Liz Mangum) to use!

Oh where to spend all the money I saved....

Al

You need to work on this....

Those were the words I heard when paying for one of the CFO's suits to be dry cleaned. We go to a place where you pay when you drop it off. So the lady said, that will be $3.90. I handed her a $20 (hey, CFOs just oversee money, they don't handle it:). The lady looked at a girl that looked to be about 17 and said "Come over here, you need to work on this." At first I was VERY confused, a state of mind I am comfortable in:) Then the girl looked at the $20 and then the $3.90 on the bill. Time seemed to slow down....

Lady: "What is $20 minus $3.90?"
Girl: "Mmmmmm" girl starts to reach for something.
Lady: "Try it without using the calculator."
I stifled a chuckle
Girl: "This is hard.... $7.10?
Lady: "no... try again"
Girl: "Uhhhhhh.... $17.10?
Lady: "What is $20 minus $4?"
Girl: "Oh, give me the calculator...."

She made the change very quickly after that so I am assuming that this was not due to a learning disability. I find it VERY amusing because on the Rick and Bubba show this morning (I listen to them when I am the maid) they were discussing how stupid it is that schools still teach basic math. Specifically they said long division but it still seems VERY ironic that I ran into this today. Rick and Bubba said schools should teach them to use a calculator... well, it looks like they already do:)

What is next? No writing training as we can all now type?

Your mama so slow it takes her two hours to watch 60 minutes:)

Al

Schedule... what schedule?

I mentioned earlier that the kids were going to one nap a day. Well they seem to be having a disagreement about that:) I feel like a one man SEAL team. I must be ready for anything at anytime and everything is fluid. I am definitely in a kinetic war with the kids these days:) Nights are for regrouping and preparing for the next day's "battles."

For instance, last night I packed their bag for the day out program they go to. So I need nine diapers (with our name on them), change of clothes (for each kid), lunch (sandwiches and fruit), nap mats, and sippy cups of water. I also need to fix their sippy cups of milk for the morning.

Tomorrow after their "school" I plan to go to Target ($10 gift card with Pampers purchase) or Sam's Club (they LOVE the pizza.) So I also need a diaper bag with bottled water, four diapers, wipes, snacks etc.... Not a big deal but we went to Church last night and the diaper bag was in full use. By the way, I think sippy cups are actually alive and they hide from me:)

So Wednesday looked like this...

5:35 am - Jackson woke up screaming (not uncommon) and I moved him to pack-n-play in playroom

6:35 am - I get up, again, make coffee for me and tea for the CFO. Empty the dishwasher.

7:00 am - get the kids up

7:45 am - breakfast; waffles and bananas

8:30 am - walk

9:15 am - baths

10:00 am - go down for a nap

Daddy eats breakfast, does laundry, cooks lunch and does a little cleaning

1:00 pm - kids wake up

1:30 pm - lunch

2:30 pm - go to YMCA for workout, like I need one:) All the moms are amazed that I even get out of the house with them.

4:00 pm - arrive back home for a snack and play time

4:30 pm - tried a nap for the kids - the boys were out but Addison was having none of it:)

6:10 pm - dinner

6:45 pm - go to Church

8:15 pm - head home

8:30 pm - brush teeth, prayers, story from CFO and go to bed

Addison does her best Gene Simmons impression....

Saying "Poopie" actually makes it smell better:)

Al

The book club.

No, I am not a member of a book club:) Why not? Two reasons...

1) I do not read. Not that I can't, I choose not to. I loved books on tape when I traveled a lot but I refuse to carve out time to read now.

2) I do not have friends I hang out with. I have GREAT friends in other places but none here. Don't feel bad, I use to make friends at work so I spent time with them talking about work. Now my work is the triplets:) Not much talking yet, a lot of crying and babbling but not much talking. Well, at least none that is coherent:)

The kids on the other hand LOVE books! They love looking at them, throwing them, ripping them, even eating them. One day about a year ago the CFO said "Is William choking on something?" Out I pulled about 1/2 of the spine of a book:0 But they do love books. They actually take them to bed with them and I frequently find them "reading" them when I get them up in the morning or from naps. We are still working on learning which way is right side up but I will take what I can get:)




This is, of course, before a brawl ensued that the bouncer (Daddy) had to break up:) I had heard of food fights but not book fights:)

Life is not fair, get over it already:)

Al

The IDIOT show continues....

I think Despair, Inc. has it right with their "Customer Disservice" Lithograph: "We're not satisfied until you're not satisfied." This should hang in the office of Whirlpool/Jenn-Air and A&E Factory Service. I blogged about these members of MENSA (LOTS of sarcasm there if you did not catch it) before. OK, first they had to come out and see the crack I told them about in my new cooktop - they might as well said "We don't trust you." So once they saw the crack they ordered the new cooktop and scheduled the "install" two weeks later. They said "we will ship the cooktop to your house to save time."

OK, so the "install" was scheduled for 6/26. I have not seen the cooktop delivered yet so I called them. The said, well it looks like it is on backorder and won't be to the warehouse until 6/30. So now I have another "install" date of 7/7. So it will be two months before this thing is fixed. I called Whirlpool to complain. So I dial in my number as their message says then once you get a representative I have to give my number, address, model number of the cooktop AND the serial number! I asked her if they ever save this information for future reference. She said, "yes sir we do, we just like to verify it each time." What I heard is "We just like to make you jump through meaningless hoops each time to really get you peeved." So I told her my issue with A&E Factor Services. She said "I am sorry about that, is there anything else I can help you with?" I said, well thank goodness you all don't run a Dr.'s office, all of your patients would die:)

I will be VERY surprised if they don't come out on 7/7 just to verify that the cooktop is here THEN actually schedule a date to install it:)

They are as think as I dumb they are...

Al

Mommy and Daddy get some time away...

The CFO's parents (my in-laws) came down Sunday for the day. They got to town right after Church. They were a special blessing this day for a selfish reason. I had tweaked my back earlier at Church and it was great to have help:) I was the Nursery helper for the Toddler 1 room. So not only did I watch our three but also six others:) The paid Nursery worker, who is great, was there but we were in a serious zone coverage for about an hour and a half. John and Kate plus eight have all my empathy. I was talking the ENTIRE time.... get down from there, thank you (I was fed "pretend" food the whole time), be careful, can I wipe your nose, be gentle, want me to read you the book, let's share, who has a poopie?..... on and on and on.....

Back to us:) After the kids woke up from their nap Mimi and Grandaddy watched the kids while Mommy and Daddy snuck away for some "quality" time.... We went to the grocery store. No, really. Yes, we even held hands:) We had a great time and even better dinner when we got back home.

More pics from playing hookie with the CFO.... We were playing charades... This was Jackson throwing a grenade and it exploding:)

I use to drive a motorcycle, go skiing in Canada and go SCUBA diving, now I have triplets.... life is better now,

Al

The CFO plays hookie!

One of the perks of us moving closer to family is that now we don't have to use a bunch of vacation days flying or driving 12 hours each way to visit family. So the Pollard CFO (the wife) can now take days off to play "hookie" with us! Don't worry, I still got the laundry done:)

We had a GREAT day on Friday! We ate breakfast on the road (waffles travel well) on our way to the Aldridge Gardens.

If the kids were singers this would be their album cover with Jackson (lead singer) in front:)

Play hookie once and a while, it is just as fun as when I was in High School:)

Al

Rubbing in racing...

A little hit and run action at the Pollard house.... Good thing it doesn't go on our insurance:)

Easy pizza crust.... with a powertool:)

I know pizza crust sounds difficult but if you have a food processor (a stay at home Dad's powertool) with a dough blade it is a breeze! I followed Rachel Ray's directions (substituted 2 tablespoons of honey from another recipe for the sugar in hers). I put the dry ingredients in the food processor (12 cup Kitchenaid) then added the wet ingredients (the yeast mixture). Then turned it on and slowly added a spoonful of flour at a time till I got a ball of dough. It cut out most of the kneading. I still kneaded it for a minute or two then let it rise in a bowl coated with olive oil. I half the dough and refrigerate the other half for the next night. I put it in a gallon zip lock as it busted out of the cling wrap the first time I did this. Then roll out the dough to your pan size. Coat the dough with flour as needed so it is not sticky. Be sure to coat the pan with olive oil, don't be too stingy:)

I want to learn to make thin crust next. I even made cheese stuffed crust once:) I just freeze what I won't eat the next day or so and bake it to bring it back to life when I am hungry.

If you are 15 minutes early you are on time, if you are on time you are late and if you are late don't bother showing up:)

Al

As you may remember the kids go to a day our program on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Tuesday I am the yard boy and Thursday the maid:) I was doing my "maid" duty yesterday when something made me laugh. We have quite a few vacuums in the house. Not only do we have quite a few but there is a heirachy to them, no really.

The top predator of the bunch is our Dyson, appropriately named "The Animal". This thing eats everything. It gets the choicest of "food", our wool carpets. They seem to shed worse than a sheep dog at the equator:)

Next are the "twins." Our two Roombas. They are like Hyenas, savaging for anything they can find. I keep them clean and charged and they stay happy.

Then we have the dustbusters. I have two: one hand held for getting what Roomba can't from the corners and one on a handle for tile and hardwoods.

At the bottom of this hierarchy is the shop-vac. It gets all the dirty work:( The shop-vac cleans the other vacuums and their filters.

It takes a village of vacuums to keep a house clean,

Al

Cooking for kids and adults....

I like trying to cook new things. My problem is that I don't like following directions. Remember I am still a man after all and we don't ask for, listen to or follow directions well. OK maybe some do, but I don't. So I take parts of recipes and throw my own spin on things. Such is my life with making pizza. My wife does not like pizza very much, it is a wonder we ever got together:) I on the other hand LOVE pizza. It can actually be pretty healthy for you.

I got directions on making crust from the Rachel Ray site. Then substituted honey for sugar substituted 1/2 of the flour it calls for with a combination of whole wheat flour and wheat germ that I got from The Sneaky Chef.

The toppings depend on what I have left over (cheeseburger pizza after a cookout) or I sometimes buy things specifically for a pizza. My latest creation was chicken, mushroom, spinach and artichoke. Mmmmmmm. I coated the chicken with a basil pesto spread I found at the store and used a store bought Alfredo sauce. Everyone liked it, even the kids!

Smile, everyone around you will appreciate it,

Al

OCD kids, well sort of.....

Maybe this is normal but my kids do not like stuff, in particular food, on their hands. William started this and the other two have picked it up. Let me set the scene for you.... We are eating mac-n-cheese. I keep trying to get them to use their forks but to no avail. I know they are only 21 months old but good golly, most animals are feeding themselves by this point in their lives:) After every other bite William will hold out his hand and moan/whine/squeal. Then you wipe his hand off and he goes right back into the food. I have tried to explain to him that it does not make sense to clean his hands until he is done. But he is having none of it. I think he just likes keeping me busy:)

Oh yeah, being me and a guy, I tried the "tough love" approach...."William, I will clean your hand when you finish." He had some banana on his hand.... well, he showed me:)

If kid's snot was gold I would be rich, REALLY rich:)

Al

It's the end of the world as you (I) know it....

I like the way REM sings it. It makes it sound like the way you know the world sucks and the new way has got to be way better! Their version is a lot better than The Doors version..."the End"

I am talking about our schedule and it is YOUR fault:) All of you that have said "Yeah my kids started dropping their morning nap around 18-21 months." Well I hope you are happy... They have started. Monday nobody took their morning nap and only William slept in the afternoon. I had to give Jackson Redbull to get through dinner, oh wait, that was me:)

Today I am the Yardboy as they go to "school."

Is this another "sign" for I am done eating? :)


I think William has had enough to eat....


Jackson "smiling" for the camera...


and I feel fine,
continued from the title lyrics

Al

Had a GREAT Fathers' Day!

Yes I put the apostrophe in the right place in my title:) I think everyone else has it wrong. The day is not meant to recognize just each Father individually but all of them as a whole, including God and my Dad. As this was my second Fathers' Day as a Father I recommitted myself to being the best Father I can. I think that starts for forgiving yourself for being broken and human. Yes, I get frustrated sometimes with the kids (and with the CFO) and it is frequently over silly things. I mean really, in the grand schemes of things does it really matter that we don't get somewhere at the precise time that I have etched in my brain? It is much better that we get where we are going with everyone happy and healthy. I always tell the kids I will never get mad at them for being hungry or having a dirty diaper. Those of you who have had Preemies in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) know what I am talking about. You pray that they will eat and for wet/dirty diapers. I would never have guessed that one barometer of a kid's health is how many wet/dirty diapers they have a day. Heck, we documented their "input" and "output" for over a year. Seriously, we still have the stacks of paper.



The kids were GREAT yesterday with no meltdowns, a good nap after Church and a great dinner at the Cracker Barrel!

A few old pics from their NICU days...

Happy Fathers' Day!

If you have nothing nice to say about someone at least end it with "Bless their heart",

Al

Backfire!

I have mentioned a couple of times that the boys keep getting out of their seats during meals. It sometimes gets quite frustrating. So the wife and I had a GREAT plan.... I will bring up their highchairs from the basement and tell them that if they get out of their seats they will have to eat in their highchairs. Great plan, right? We thought so until they ran to their highchairs this morning with the excitement usually reserved for Christmas morning.


So now I am once again cleaning highchairs:( Are they starting reverse psychology on us already? At least they are once again strapped in. So now I am more motivated than ever to get our kitchen table stained, painted and put together. Part of my procrastination has been that we haven't picked out any chairs... until today. I mean we have looked everywhere and holy cow, they are expensive. I mean come on! It is for our rears:) For what some chairs cost you would think that some of the chairs out there were hand carved by the last tribe of cannibal pygmies using trees from the last old growth forest in the world. At the least the chairs should come with a blessing from the Pope:)

So we did what any good Southerners would do. Yep, we went to some flea markets. Believe me when I say flea markets that is giving them some undue acclaim. I think my kids have more teeth than all the vendors at one place we went:) Just kidding, they had one less. I counted:) We were discouraged but then EUREKA! First we found a kids rocking chair with "Addison" painted on it... $5. Then, wait, what is that? Five dining chairs for $35! Yes, they look like they fell off a truck, well, off several trucks, but did I mention we have triplets:)

The best way to receive a hug is to give one,
From the lid of sour cream, no kidding:)

Al

Kung Fu

Man, kids can make you feel like you are bi-polar. Not to make light of a serious disease but it fits what I feel some days, hours, minutes, or seconds. One minute the boys are alternately getting out of their chairs at meal time (little do they know we will soon be strapping them into booster seats at a table) and pitching fits when out of nowhere William busts out with this Kung Fu move:)

Let the weekend commence!

Al

Is it cheating?

OK, my wife is always talking about how much I get done around the house. When we were D.I.N.K.S. in Dallas we had a housekeeper and a yard service. So when the kids came along we had a housekeeper, a yard service and a Nanny (starting after 5 months). So we had a good bit of "domestic" help till the kids were about 18 months old when we moved for Mommy's job a few months ago. Now I am the Nanny, the cook, the housekeeper, the lawn guy and laundry guy.

But I do have two "assistants" that help me keep the floors clean. Without them my 4 hour cleaning day would not even come close to keeping the house clean. While we still had two incomes we bought a Roomba and a Scooba. When we moved I traded in the Scooba for another Roomba. Now I have an upstairs Roomba and a downstairs one. If you are not familiar with them, check them out. The Roombas are great and if you buy it from Hammacher Schlemmer you also get their lifetime guarantee. That is how I "traded in" the Scooba for a Roomba. If using robots to help you clean is cheating them I am guilty as charged.

It is good to be a geek,

Al

Training...

Since these our first (and only) kids we might be proud of things that more experienced parents see as pedestrian, but who cares:) For the most part they follow direction (orders) very well. When we ask "who wants to brush their teeth?" they all run to the bathroom yelling "teeth... teeth." When you say "who wants to eat?" they all run to table and get in their seats. And finally the no-brainer... when you ask"who wants to watch Sesame Street?" they all run to the TV. Sometimes we get a straggler but not very often.

Discipline is another issue. Addison is our little angel. I am actually worried that she is saving up for when she is a teenager:) Jackson is deliberate about what he does showing what a friend calls willful disobedience. Timeouts don't seem to work for him so now his prized possession (his glowworm) gets a timeout. I think it will do the trick.

They like using their limited sign language along with their words. Jackson and William asking for "More."

Control what you can,

Al

Idiots galore!

Our house came with a Jenn-air downdraft cook top. One side had two electric eyes and the other side was a grill. Indoor grill? I believe you can find that under the definition of OXYMORON. Which would be fitting because you must be a moron to use it. The only pro I could find in using it is that it is indoors. The cons... you must clean it each time, it is messy, no flame (what man does not want flames?) and then you only have two eyes for pots. Which, by the way, were made for pots from the Easybake Oven collection. If you have a 10" skillet on one you can't fit anything else on it.

So we did what any red-blooded American would do..... Buy a Jenn-Air downdraft gas cook top. Pros.... four variable eyes that each hold a pot, easy to clean, nice looking, etc... Cons.. The glass top was broken when it arrived. No big deal Whirlpool (owns Jenn-Air) said, we will send out a service to fix it. They came today.

Two guys show up. They come into the kitchen. They inspect the cook top (I think the crack shows up on Google Earth) to survey the damage. They get the model number and serial number off of it and input in their laptop (I also had to give this info to Whirlpool when I called them about the damage). Then they say, OK we ordered the new glass for your cook top and we will be back in two weeks to install it. GOOD LORD! I told them it was cracked. You would think they were a division on the US Government. So it took two guys coming to my house to order a replacement. I am glad they don't run an ambulance service.... yep, looks like a heart attack, I will call you a Dr. in a few minutes.

The dumber they are, the smarter I look:)

Al

Making eating healthier

The Pollard CFO bought me a cookbook for Christmas last year (yes, I asked for one). It is called "The Sneaky Chef." It shows how to get veggies into kid's food without them knowing. Oooo, sneaky, I am all over it. But wait, this requires following instructions. Even if I do stay at home, do laundry, change diapers, do the cooking and the cleaning there is NO WAY I am following directions. Come on, I am still a Man after all:) So I read some of them and improvise the rest.

The kids like most of what I make and the rest, I eat. I am one of those weird people that usually sees eating as a necessity rather than a pleasure. Don't get me wrong, I eat frequently but it is to avoid becoming "shaky and angry" as the Pollard CFO says. I also combine things that are getting ready to go bad. You know where I learned that?.... Public school! You know, hamburgers on Monday, mac and cheese on Tuesday, then Wednesday..... Chilimac! I sometimes have some very strange combinations but it works for me.

So, the shells and cheese in the picture below has white bean puree and spinach in it. The kids LOVED it! No, really, look at the picture if you don't believe me...

Fake it till you make it,

Al

Cooking for the CFO.... Chicken Piccata

Yes, in addition to feeding the kids I also usually cook for the wife (the Pollard CFO) and myself. This usually happens on weekends or after the kids go to bed. A 9pm dinner is not unusual at all. After we get our kitchen table finished we will all eat together. Here is one thing I make and the ingredients in case you are interested.

Chicken Piccata, the CFO's FAVORITE dish
2 - thin sliced chicken breasts (you can use regular ones but then you would need to pound them flat)
Mix 1 egg and 2 tablespoons of spicy brown mustard
Dip chicken in mixture then coat heavily with Italian bread crumbs
2 tablespoons of olive oil heated to med-high in 12 inch skillet
cook coated chicken for 5 min on one side - should be crispy brown
flip and cook 3 min on other side
Combine 3/4 cup white wine and 3/4 cup lemon juice (BE SURE to shake lemon juice... you will only make this mistake once)
Pour wine and lemon juice over chicken
Add small jar of capers
Simmer for 3-5 min (depending on how much you want to cook-down the sauce)
Serve over pasta

I like easy,

Al

A new look.....

As you may surmise by now I usually call it like I see it. Yes, even when others know better, there I am, speaking up:) This was true even back when my wife and I met. I told here two main things about myself...

One, work comes first. I frequently have to work late, go in early and work weekends. Notice the workaholic attitude:) At least I admit it:)

Two, I am most likely going to loose my hair.

Yes, it is AMAZING that she stayed with me!

OK, the first one I can change but the second one? Yes I used Rogain in the past and tried other stuff but I felt like it was similar to installing a screen door on a submarine, it just didn't make sense. I have been keeping my hair short since college but I went a step further this time.

Not sure I will keep it this way but it is a look:)

It will be a sad day when no one laughs,

Al

Some people fear Clowns...

I on the other hand fear balloons. No, I don't run from them screaming but I REALLY don't like them. Not sure where or when it started but I HATE it when they pop. I do not use the word hate much so I really dislike them quite a bit. So, what did they have last Tuesday at Pizza Hut's kids eat free night... Balloons. I am not one to deprive my children of the joy of playing with balloons just because I don't like them so when the CFO asked me if I thought we could take one for the kids I asked and they said yes. So if you notice in one of the pictures I have a stupid look on my face, OK, stupider than usual:)

None popped despite traveling back in the van not to mention all the biting, pinching and squeezing from the kids. They loved them! You know what that means for 21 month olds.... Yep, a MELTDOWN when you take them away so the kids can go to bed. Being a man, I did not learn my lesson and let them have them again in the morning as I promised them. The second meltdown ensued after several battles over who wanted which color.

Out of fear can come joy,

Al