Stay at Home Dad of Triplets

Still on the new site

2011-03-11T07:03:00.001-06:00

I am still posting at www.stayathometripletdad.com but I thought I would share what is now my favorite quote as I also despise glitter:

Glitter is the herpes of arts and crafts.
Demitri Martin

Al

A new web site for the blog

2011-02-04T07:18:00.002-06:00

After much debate (internally) I have decided to get my own URL for my blog, www.stayathometripletdad.com. I have put up my first post there. I still have a week to change my mind but I think private hosting is the way I want to go.

Latest post here.

Don't worry, if I do use it exclusively I will keep this one up and linked to the new one!

Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.
Arnold Bennett

Al

We are killing some trees now

2011-02-03T08:48:00.000-06:00

As with me when the Triplets get into something new they REALLY get into it! After having a boys sleep over at Nuke Doc's house the Triplets have enjoyed doing color by numbers and mazes that they, yes they, print off the internet. They print, draw, color and tape (in their room) quite a bit these days. It is a good thing we get deals on paper from Staples and buy one get one on tape from Publix:)

Jackson keeps it pretty simple. No, that is not his handwriting and yes, I know I misspelled WALL-E:)

Addison adds her creative flair. Notice the dots around the maze.

William likes to do some freehand. I think he is in a modern/abstract art phase:)

An artist is never ahead of his time but most people are far behind theirs.

Edgard Varese

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since.

Salvador Dali

My Roombas are home!

2011-02-02T08:20:00.000-06:00

Oh how we have all missed our friend, the Roomba. I have been on and off the phone with Hammacher Schlemmer over the last week. I noticed they only shipped out one Roomba so I called them. It turns out they sent one as a replacement and then decided to refund my credit card for the other one. Did I mention that it was a credit card that I cancelled two years ago? Lovely! I also noticed that they sent it to the address where I lived three years ago, TX. This despite the fact that I called them before shipping them back to make sure everything was good to go. The representative then said "It looks like you have two accounts, one in TX and one in AL. You should have cancelled the TX one." Huh? How should I have known that they created two accounts for me? So I politely but firmly said "Since it seems that this is all my fault what do I need to do right now during this phone call to make sure it does not happen again. I want to be sure that before I get off the phone with you I have done all that I need to do since this seems to be my responsibility." She giggled and said "please hold."

She came back to say that she cancelled the TX one and was having the Roomba that was sent there shipped back to them and they would send me another one. OK, no worries. I went online and ordered another Roomba to replace the one they refunded me for. Did I mention that the credit card company does not show a refund yet:) I checked the tracking numbers Monday on the new one I ordered and the original replacement Roomba they sent. My order was to be delivered Tuesday, good. The replacement somehow got re-routed to where I live now and was out for delivery! Wait, what is that, NO! Right after UPS says "out for delivery" it says "sender requests return of package." IDIOTS.

I called Hammacher again yesterday morning and after getting in a fight with the voice unrecognition software (I had to disparage it's code by asking it how many punch cards the programmer had to put in to change a setting) I finally got to talk to a carbon based life form. She said that she could see where the UPS package was headed back to them so she would send out another Roomba, the other person had not sent one out. BTW, she confirmed the missing refund.

When we got home from the YMCA yesterday we were greeted by not one Roomba but two! I would call Hammacher to let them know but I do not have another 20 minutes to donate to this cause. I bet a third one shows up Friday:)

Household tasks are easier and quicker when they are done by somebody else.
James Thorpe (1888 - 1953)

Al

Bring on the Stereotypes

2011-02-01T07:38:00.001-06:00

I try to periodically read other SAHD's blogs and a few other websites like AtHomeDad.org. They, like me, periodically discuss the way they are treated as SAHDs and/or Fathers. It seems there is a stereotype out there of SAHDs and Fathers that we are well... inept bafoons at best and miscreants at worst. Even the NY Times is taking up for men.

But as two of my best friends always remind me, there is some truth to stereotypes and many play out to be true in a lot of instances. Of course that would mean that Doctors are selfish egomaniacs that have a God complex and little regard for others as everyone else is beneath them not to mention less educated. Luckily we know that is just not true:)

Instead of fighting the stereotype I am trying to use it to my advantage. I look like a hero if the kids are dressed when we leave the house. Can you imagine any self respecting Mother taking their kids out without combing/brushing their hair? What about in uncoordinated clothes? Dirty faces? I think not! My boys make bed-head look good:) Now I do brush out my Princesses hair every day as I know there is a line that is not to be crossed. But I get A LOT of leeway when it comes to taking care of the kids, doing laundry, cleaning the house and much of the other "Woman's work" that I do on a daily basis.

As a white male I feel that it would be wrong of me to get all fired up about being "discriminated" against as I have benefited from so many stereotypes. For decades and centuries, heck, since we made a "bad choice" in the Garden of Eden Men have received preferential treatment from EVERYONE. So if I periodically run into some ignorant, small/closed minded idiots that judge me on my gender then I figure I should/can just suck it up and take it. Heck, I really do thank God every day that I am a guy.

The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
Lucille S. Harper

If it can't be fixed by duct tape or WD-40, it's a female problem.
Jason Love

Al

Good dog

2011-01-25T09:11:00.000-06:00

The gloves are coming off

2011-01-25T09:05:00.001-06:00

We have tried rewarding (bribing) with praise, chocolate milk and finally with money, but to no avail. Jackson is getting in our bed EVERY night, oye vey! It wouldn't be that bad if he did kick you like a jack rabbit all night. We are contemplating locking the door.

But before we do that I want to try some tough love. Last night I kicked him out of bed twice to sleep on the floor and took him back to his bed the third time at 4am. I know it will be a bit tough for a while but if we hold the line it should get better, right? :)

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
Noel Coward (1899 - 1973)

Reality is something you rise above.
Liza Minnelli (1946 - )

Al

How do you people do it?

2011-01-21T06:36:00.002-06:00

We have two Roombas left over from our time as DINKs (dual income no kids). If you are not familiar with these little guys they can be a great tool in the battle against dog hair and kid mess. What kind of kid mess? Primarily food and play-doh. Roomba has to main advantages... One, it is a start it and forget it underling. Unlike other underlings it will go about it's business with very little to no assistance. Two, it goes under couches and chairs. I am amazed at how much dust and dirt finds it way under furniture. Now if we are at someone's house and something goes under a couch I am a bit more hesitant to reach under it blindly:)

Unfortunately, as our Preacher reminds us, we live in a fallen world. One of my Roombas seemed to be the target of some evil spirit. The brushes stopped turning. I did what any SAHD would do, I took it apart! I found the culprit... dirt, dust and dog hair or as I call them the dirty d's. I cleaned it all out and it worked again, for a while. But alas, it stopped working.

At least I had my second string Roomba that I could carry around the house on missions. The house did not stay as clean as usual but it worked. That is until it also stopped spinning its brushes. If I was a more suspicious man I would think this was some sort of strike or planned work stoppage on their part. Maybe Roomba was tired of just cleaning up the mess. Maybe they wanted better working hours, pay or conditions. But thanks to Google I have found out that it is just poor designing on the part of Irobot, the makers of Roomba. It seems that dirt gets into where brush gears and motor are eventually fouling them up. Of course this does not affect Roomba's performance until well after the warranty period so why fix it? :)

My saving grace is Hammacher Schlemmer! If you are not familiar with them let me tell you about their Unconditional Lifetime Guarantee. :

"Items that we sell are guaranteed for their normal life under standard non-commercial use. Should any product ever fail to meet your expectations, for any reason, simply return it with proof of purchase. We will replace it or refund the cost of the item less the original shipping and service fees."

My Roombas are on their way back to Hammacher Schlemmer for an exchange. I plan to get the new model Roomba in exchange for one and try out the new laser guided vacuum for the other one. But until they arrive I must make due with what I have... Poor me:) lol

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office.
Heloise Cruse

My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
Erma Bombeck

Al

The newest house rule

2011-01-20T07:43:00.000-06:00

We seem to have more and more house rules that we more or less follow. OK, they are not "rules" as much as they are sayings that the Triplets hear and or say on command and on a regular basis. The most recent was a gift from a Mother of three that I ran into a while back.

We were discussing the challenges of controlling/disciplining three (or more) children. She said that she started handing out the punishment to all three if they did not get along. So now if two or all three of the Triplets can't agree on something or are fussing about something I get involved. Guess what, if I get involved who's happy? NO ONE! :)

If you do not conquer self, you will be conquered by self.
Napoleon Hill

If we don't discipline ourselves, the world will do it for us.
William Feather

Al

How much is it worth?

2011-01-18T07:08:00.001-06:00

Like all good ideas our chocolate milk reward for staying in their bed has run it's course with the Triplets. The CFO came up with another idea... money. First we went to $.25 per night for each kid when they stay in their bed. Jackson still got in our bed every night but then added getting very upset in the morning to the mix when his brother and sister got their quarters.

So we upped the ante. The CFO also wanted to start an allowance for them, $4 per week with $1 going to giving, $2 to savings and $1 they could spend or save. Now not only do they get their quarter but if they don't stay in their bed they give us a quarter. Still no movement on the bed situation. Oh well, at least he does not seem to be very materialistic:)

Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of filling a vacuum, it makes one.
Benjamin Franklin

They say money doesn't make you happy but I have never seen a sad person on a jet ski.
Roger Pennington

Al

Do I own it or does it own a piece of me?

2011-01-17T08:08:00.001-06:00

The CFO and I are by no means liberal green tree huggers trying to save the world flying around in our private jet like the "other" Al. But we do like the idea of getting by with less. I stress that I like the "idea" but not the reality. See, I have a real talent for creating wants then turning those wants into needs. I am also trying to not pass this on to my kids. My parents say that they have no idea how I got this trait but I have it.... champagne tastes with a beer wallet:)

For me it is usually technology. We got a new HD camcorder for Christmas that shoots AWESOME video with great sound. But it writes directly to SD cards. So then I need to move those videos to another media to store it. So I figure I will burn them to DVDs and save a copy on an external hard drive. But guess what? I need to buy an external hard drive and DVDs. Then I need to burn the DVDs. That is after I make them into movies with a movie editor. So now I am out time and money.

With the Triplets it is their toys. Let's ignore the fact that they have a knack for breaking the heartiest of toys. Their most recent victim was their train table. I think I have a solution but I need to wait till they are in school or down for a nap to try it out as it involves power tools:) If they don't break the toy then they will break something else with that toy... the wall, another toy or each other. The cost of toys is the batteries and accessories. Wow! That is a cool car... oh, it needs batteries. What? It has a garage you "need?" Oh, and people, no wait, a family that can ride in it. Oh yes, we definitely need the house for that family. Wait a minute... they have a vacation home too?

See what I mean.... I feel like I am stuck in the Monty Python skit... Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam. Or in my case.. stuff, stuff, stuff. Just to drive the point home our Preacher is doing a series on stewardship. GREAT! Now I not only feel bad about all the stuff "I" need (want) but now I want to give more.

A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
George Carlin

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
George Carlin

Al

You want what with your lunch?

2011-01-12T08:49:00.002-06:00

This morning while I was getting the Triplets' I got what I feel is a bit of an unusual request from William. "Can I have a pickle in my lunch box?" I know he loves pickles but it just seemed a bit strange to come out of the blue. So after cutting two dill pickles for his lunch he asked for one with breakfast. Oh well, it beats him asking for candy:)

We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex--but Congress can.
Cullen Hightower

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Author Unknown

Al

Oh, that makes it easier to have a work-life balance

2011-01-10T10:55:00.001-06:00

I got a call Friday afternoon from my boss I contracting with.... they are cutting loose their contractors. Well that makes it easier to get my stuff done around the house:) Oh well... that give me more time to blog, play Black Ops and maybe even start one of the books I talk about writing.

I have a few books that have been thinking about writing a job search book from my experience being a recruiter, a book about being a stay at home dad and finally a book about being a parent of Triplets. Maybe I will combine the last two.

Now I gotta get back to full time job:)

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
Charles M. Schulz (1922 - 2000)

Al

Back to the grind

2011-01-07T06:38:00.000-06:00

Well, it is not really a "grind." The Triplets started back in school today after their Winter break. I am working part time again but I am trying to stay at around 20 hours a week so I can have a little more balance than my last contract position where I was trying to squeeze out 30+ hours each week. That being said I will be doing this till or through March if everything works out.

As with all things, some things with the Triplets have gotten MUCH easier while others are getting MUCH harder. Easier is all the maintenance stuff; feeding, bathing, dressing, etc.... But what is getting more taxing is the deluge of information. I am bombarded with information requests (why? why not? can I?) and information updates (DADDY! so and so just did such and such, we just broke such and such, etc...). It can be a bit overwhelming when you have all three going at once. Sometimes I feel like I trading commodities and futures in the pit. Heck, I even use hand signals! No, not telling them they are #1:) lol I use some of the standard signals for close range engagement. I use the "freeze" and "rally point" ones the most. I also throw in a little sign language for good job, thank you, please and of course... NO. This is invaluable in loud situations or when I can see them but don't want to shout. Looking cool is just an added bonus:)

Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.
Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)

Al

A new addition to the family

2011-01-04T06:32:00.000-06:00

What do you get the girl who has everything?

Well, a Ruger 44 magnum Super Blackhawk Bisley Hunter of course!

This is not a joke. This is the CFO's favorite gun since her college days. This was a gift from me and her family. What did the CFO say?.... "I think we'll need a bigger safe."

Computers have enabled people to make more mistakes faster than almost any invention in history, with the possible exception of tequila and hand guns.
Mitch Ratcliffe

Al

An Alabama Christmas

2010-12-31T08:04:00.001-06:00

We went up to the in-laws the other weekend to do the CFO's family Christmas. We surprised the CFO's parents with a new computer. I put it up after they went to bed. I woke up to William telling the CFO's parents "Mommy and Daddy didn't bring any computer." We have to keep the Triplets in the dark on anything we want to be a surprise as they LOVE telling secrets. It runs in the family, some members of the family. Not that they are loose lipped but that they love surprising people. So much so that they talk about the impending surprise... a lot:)

I am the kind of person that drives that kind of person crazy. Some people like to build suspense about an impending surprise. They want you (me) to be curious about what it is. Ask questions about it. Ponder the possibilities. Weigh your options. You know, get all geeked up about it. I, on the other hand like surprises to be... well... surprises. So I don't inquire, ponder, ask, or do anything that may encroach on the forthcoming surprise. As an added bonus it drives the surpriser nuts:)

But an Alabama Christmas would not be complete without a little gun play! The in-laws watched the Triplets and their three cousins while the CFO, my brother in law and sister in law went to the "old place" to shoot. I had my Mossberg 500 Persuader shotgun and my brother in law his new Judge. A pistol that shoots a .45 AND a .410 shotgun shell... I am all over it! Yes, the CFO loved it too!

I am no more humble than my talents require.
Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972)

If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government --and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws.
Edward Abbey

Al

Who makes the decisions at a Wedding?

2010-12-30T06:51:00.005-06:00

After having been in a few weddings I have learned one eternal truth... When it comes to decisons reguarding a wedding it is up to the Bride. It is her day. Not the groom's, not her mother's, not her mother in law's, her's. I know it does not always work that way but the CFO and I see it that way and if we are involved or attending a wedding we do our best to be sure it works that way. So what if it is snowing, in the 30's, with a gale force wind. If the Bride wants to get married outside she is getting married outside!

I discussed this fact with my daughter the night before the wedding during her bath time. She wanted to wear a white dress we had borrowed from a friend. But the dress was whiter than the Bride's, a no-no. If you have read this blog in the past then you know that she is a bit strong willed:) Here is how our discussion went: Keep in mind this is after extensive negotiating by both me and the CFO.

Daddy: "Don't you want to wear the pretty black dress?"
Addison: "NO! I want to wear the white dress"
Daddy: "Who makes the decisions about a wedding?"

Addison: "I don't know"

Daddy: "The Bride does"

Addison: "Oh"

Daddy: "Who is the bride tomorrow?"

Addison: "Miss Owlison"

Daddy: "So who makes the decisions about what people wear to the wedding?"

Addison: "Miss Owlison... but I want to wear the white dress!"

Daddy: "When you get married do you want to make the decisions or do you want a four year old flower girl to make the decisions?"

Addison: "I want to make the decisions"

Daddy: "So who is going to decide what you wear tomorrow... you or Miss Owlison?"

Addison: "Miss Owlison"

Daddy: "So will you wear the black dress please?"

Addison: "Yes Daddy"

To be fair it was the CFO and I making the call but that is just because Miss Owlison is too nice/smart/afraid to stand in the gap between what my little princess and what she wants. I do it for sport:)

She was as pretty as a picture...

She later negotiated wearing the slippers at the reception into the deal:)

If you can't go around it, over it, or through it, you had better negotiate with it.
Ashleigh Brilliant

Marriage: love, honor, and negotiate.
Joe Moore

Al

Happy Birthday to the CFO!

2010-12-29T06:20:00.003-06:00

To the CFO...

If I could change what's been done before
The Triplets and I would kiss you more
I have few regrets through our years
The ones I have may bring me tears
But in our future I pledge my will
Until our vows I do fulfill

I love you,

Al

The second most memorable wedding

2010-12-28T08:48:00.001-06:00

If I have attended your wedding please do not take this personally. The most memorable was of course, mine. It was not just because the CFO became my Bride but we also had three tornado warnings that day. One cut our reception short and one stopped the after-party in our suite back at the hotel. Keep in mind these are "Alabama Tornado Warnings" and they take them seriously. Like leave the reception and go to the basement of the Police Station seriously. So ours is #1.

The #2 spot has been taken by one of the CFO's best friends, Owlison. No, that is not her real name but if you know her then you know who it is. Owlison's wedding is #2 for several reasons that I will discuss below. Please do not try to surpass this as this is something that just happens, you cannot plan for it. It is like AFV. If it is planned then I think it doesn't count. Here are the reasons, in no particular order. In the spirit of full disclosure, Owlison also reads this blog.

Getting married December 26th. Not only getting married on 12/26, the day after Christmas but deciding on that day on 12/20/2010. Yep, less than a week. No, it was not a shotgun wedding, although if it was I have a great shotgun we could have used. The original date was in April I believe but because of the new house the couple is building they (she) decided to move the date up. Why and how would a house move the day up you ask. Well, it seems that their construction workers are very good at their job. So good in fact that the closing date got moved up so far it was going to be before the wedding.
Driving eight hours on Christmas Day to get to the wedding. Nuff said:)
It was quite chilly. When I say quite chilly I mean that it was an outside wedding, it was on the water, it was 34 degrees, and there was a 30 mph breeze blowing.
It was the first wedding that the Triplets were in. Addison was the flower girl and the boys ring bearers. Addison did a great job. The boys, however, bugged out back to the van because of the slight chill in the air, sissys:) So I ended up being the ring bearer and the videographer.
One of my many gadgets came in handy. In other weddings I have been in the rings on the ring bearer's pillow were fake ones and the best man actually had the real things. Not so in this wedding. The real rings were tied on the pillow. So when it came time for the rings they needed to untie them. Not such an easy task with numb hands. Luckily I had my Mini Leatherman (the best groomsman gift, from Bebe's wedding). It quickly cut the ribbon and it was game on!

We had a GREAT time and she was/is a beautiful bride! Her husband looked good too:)

There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes.
Doctor Who

Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
Michael Leunig

Al

Wanna snuggle?

2010-12-23T08:27:00.001-06:00

It seems so nice doesn't it... snuggling up with your precious little four year old. It's 2am and it's cold in the house so it tugs at your heart strings when one of the Triplets comes crawling in the bed describing the latest bad dream. Your heart goes out to them and you bring them in close to snuggle. Nothing like a little 200,000 BTU heater next to you on a cold winter's night to put a smile on your face.

But why is it that as soon as you fall asleep that cute little four year old seems to morph into a creature with four elbows and six knees that continuously poke and prod you. You find yourself in a bad dream... you have been abducted by aliens and they are poking and prodding you looking for a place to put their space probe. Just then you are jolted awake by a shot to the kidneys, crotch or some other sensitive area. Oh, it's not a bad dream, just a four year old... or two... or three:)

It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value.
Arthur C. Clarke

Most people do not consider dawn to be an attractive experience - unless they are still up.
Ellen Goodman

Al

God loves a cheerful giver

2010-12-22T07:01:00.002-06:00

And the Triplets were more than happy to give me and Mimi the stomach flu! :) It hit me about 3am Monday morning and Mimi got it right after lunch on Monday. I was down for the count. Luckily the Triplets survived Monday.... pretty much on their own.

In the morning I fixed coffee for the CFO and put bowls out for the Triplets and fell asleep on the couch. I woke up a little later, turned on PBS and the Triplets ate cereal (whatever kind they wanted) till lunch time. I was in and out much of the time. I served them lunch ala cart in the TV room; turkey and crackers. We napped from 2-5 and I went back down for the count at 8:30pm. Let's just say that I have never felt worse than I did on Monday. Even my most ambitious College adventures did not compare.

We also had a few times where the Triplets "gambled and lost" (as my my college roomates Herge and Bullard would say) so I also got to be on clean up duty. All in all the house and the Triplets did not look all that bad all things considered.

Merry Christmas!

It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
Abraham Lincoln

1 Cross + 3 Nails = 4given
Grandma Jack

Al

The trip home

2010-12-20T06:31:00.001-06:00

I had started writing this cute post about how we celebrated Christmas with the in-laws this past weekend. I will still finish it and post it later this week but I had a more interesting subject "come up" on the way home last night, twice.

Addison frequently says "I don't feel very well" which is soon followed up by "can I sleep in your bed?" Nice try... So needless to say there is a bit of crying wolf associated with my little princess. On the way home (10pm) we dropped the CFO off at her office to pick up her car as we had picked her up from work to head out of town on Friday. I was getting ready to leave the parking lot when I heard "Daddy, I'm gonna get siurrrraaaaaaaakkk..... I hit the interior lights to see the second stream of vomit coming out of Addison. I moved quickly to catch 3-6 with a blanket. I flagged down the CFO before she left and upon her advice I covered Addison up for the short ride home where we could handle the clean up a bit better.

Right in front of our house Jackson said the same thing to which I said "cover up with your blanket." To which he said "NO!" and pulled it off of him just in time for his dinner to end up all over him. Needless to say I was not happy with his disobedience so I cleaned him up with.... you guessed it, his blanket. I know it was a bit mean as he really was sick but blankets are A LOT easier to clean than car seats.

So after two showers, the CFO getting the stuff out of the van and me cleaning the car seats it was midnight. I finally got the first load of blankets in the wash. I waited up on the first load to finish so I could get the car seat covers in before I headed to bed. Not exactly a great evening but it could have been worse.

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.
Buddha

Al

I had the wrong words to that song

2010-12-17T08:14:00.001-06:00

Ever sung a song for years and then you had that ah-ha moment where you realized that you were singing the wrong words? I started thinking about this because a very good friend of mine posted on Facebook that he finally learned the right words to "Pour Some Sugar on Me" thanks to the Sing-Off.

The Triplets have been singing a lot lately because of all the Christmas productions as their day out program and at Church. The other day I did a double take.... They were singing "go tell it on the mountain."

Go, tell it on the mountain,
Over the hills and everywhere
Go, tell it on the mountain,
That Jesus Christ is FOUR

They now perform this song regularly and on demand to the pleasure of many:) Here is their picture with Santa from Jennymo Designs.

He's simply got the instinct for being unhappy highly developed.
Saki (1870 - 1916)

Some days there won't be a song in your heart. Sing anyway.
Emory Austin

Al

Voice recognition software

2010-12-14T08:26:00.001-06:00

Voice recognition software is a great idea... if you happen to be in the cone of silence! Unfortunately for me I am perpetually in the funnel of noise to the third power. Here is an example of a normal call to a company with the ever so helpful voice recognition software:

Company: "Please say your account number"
Me: "two, zero, five,.."
Company: "I'm sorry, I didn't understand your entry, please say your account number"
Me: louder this time "TWO, ZERO, FIVE, ..."
Company: "I'm sorry, I didn't understand your entry, please say your account number"
Me: louder this time "TWO, ZERO, FIVE, ..."
Company: "I'm sorry I'm having a hard time understanding you, please wait while I connect you to a customer service agent"
click... click.... click....
Company: "To better expedite your call please say the number that best represents what you are calling about. One for billing questions, two for service questions, three for new service..."
Me: "Two"
Company: "I'm sorry, I didn't understand your entry, please say the number that best represents...."

At this point I start yelling alternating between "OPERATOR" and "REPRESENTATIVE". I usually get to someone. How about a first menu that lets you choose between voice recognition and key inputs. Something like "if you are in a vacuum of silence and you speak the Queen's English please say one to use our Voice unrecognition service."

Why is it that the more technology we invent to make life easier and give us more free time the more frustrated we are and the less free time we have?

The other weekend we did Breakfast with Santa at Church. Good thing the CFO is detail oriented. The kids got out clean and with some great keepsakes.

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Fran Lebowitz

Why can we remember the tiniest detail that has happened to us, and not remember how many times we have told it to the same person.

François de la Rochefoucauld

Back in the saddle again

2010-12-13T08:25:00.001-06:00

Well, I got another call from a friend last week asking if I was interested in doing some contract (temporary) recruiting work through March. Being that I have SO much spare time and I just sit around watching Soap Operas and eating bon-bons I said yes.

The real reason is that it will allow us to save some money. Not only will I be earning money but I also seem to spend less when I am working. It seems that when I have more time on my hands I am real good at turning my wants into needs. You know... I "want" a headset for my video game.... then I "need" one because I can play without disturbing anyone else, while Roomba is cleaning, while the CFO is watching her shows on the laptop, without hearing the chat from other players, etc... But then I "really need" the wireless surround sound one to the tune of $250. No, I did not buy it. I got an open box deal on a corded one, that the CFO tripped on, for $20.

This time I am going to try and balance work and life a bit better. Wish me luck:)

I never know how much of what I say is true.
Bette Midler

Nothing will work unless you do.
Maya Angelou

Al

Never underestimate a four year old

2010-12-09T06:47:00.000-06:00

Anyone who has had or been around kids knows not to underestimate them. No, I am not talking about their strength. They are right at crotch level so it is a dangerous time to be a Dad. No, I am also not talking about how they repeat things they shouldn't at the precise time it would be most embarrassing. I am talking about what you expect them to do.

The other day Addison surprised me, well, they all did. The trio were upstairs playing while I was cleaning up after breakfast. I hear the usual "DADDY!!!!" yell from upstairs. I get to the bottom of the stairs to see Addison looking down at me. "Yes mam" I reply. She says "Daddy, will you help me fix my bed?" I start at her... "will you help me fix my bed, please?" To which I reply "yes mam." To my amazement it wasn't broken but rather un-made. It seems that Mimi had shown them how to make their beds and she wanted to do it. The boys quickly also made their beds. Now they make their beds each morning. How long does this last?

Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting.

John Russell

What do you want for breakfast?

2010-12-08T08:05:00.001-06:00

I like giving the Triplets choices:

Where do you want to go today?
How many "upgrades" do you want?
What do you want for breakfast?

I usually get the normal choices from them for breakfast but William surprised me this morning.

Dad: "William, what kind of cereal would you like for breakfast?"
William: "I want the cereal with strawberry cuss words"

At first I was a little hesitant to ask just what those cuss words were. I quickly took an inventory of the situations I have recently been in to assess the linguistic damage I had done. I came up with nada. That is not to say I am perfect with my word choices as in one of my many previous lives I saw cursing as an art form of sorts.

So I stilled myself and asked:

Dad: "William, what kind of cuss words?"
William: "Strawberry cuss words"

I still could not figure out what "strawberry cuss words" were. They sometimes come home their day out program with new adjectives or nouns, depending their usage. At least I think that is what they are. I barely passed my 7th grade English class when we learned how to diagram sentences. The one thing I did learn is routinely trampled today... when to use "well" vs "good".

Then it hit me.... "clusters."

Man has to suffer. When he has no real afflictions, he invents some.
Jose Marti

Some men storm imaginary Alps all their lives, and die in the foothills cursing difficulties which do not exist.
Edgar Watson Howe

Al

Go big or go home

2010-12-07T06:55:00.000-06:00

I love that saying. It personifies guys. As the movie (which is awesome) Inception says "mussn't be afraid to dream a little bigger darling." Right now I carry a Coast V2 flashlight. It throws a nice 110 lumens that will outshine almost any other flashlight people carry. It is great but it only throws a focused beam and only at 110 lumens. So when you are looking for something in a car it can be a bit much.

So I have started looking around at other options. I think I have a winner with the Coast T7. It throws up to 200 lumens but also has a low setting of just 30 lumens. It also has a speed focus that lets you have a focused beam (that will reach 689ft) or a dispersed beam. The only downside is that I already look like a Batman wanna-be with all the stuff I carry and carrying a larger flashlight will only add to this. But why only carry 110 lumens when you can have 200? :)

So I ordered the T7 and after carrying in for a few days I now know why I like my V2. It doesn't pull my shorts down and it doesn't look like a police baton on my waist. So the CFO is getting the T7 to carry in her purse. But I guess that is only fitting as she has a 357 and I have a 9mm:)

Here are a few more pics from the Christmas Parade:

Everyone thought the low 40's were a bit chilly:)

Normally this is not something you want to see.... but luckily it was just the beginning of the parade!

Yes! All the Police cars and fire engines used their sirens!

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.

Henny Youngman

Orphans, dead parents, lonely children at Christmas, morose spoken word recordings, everything you love about the holidays. Move the turkey over so you can fit your head in the oven.
April Winchell

Al

Rewind... Halloween

2010-12-06T07:51:00.001-06:00

I think/hope that I may have started another family tradition. This past year the Triplets (with a little help from their Old Man) put together triplet scarecrows. Of course, being a man, I totally forgot to take a picture of them! Luckily the CFO asked if I got a picture of them and luckily we had not dismantled them yet. So, right before decorating for Christmas we put up a little Halloween again for a photo op.

If bad decorating was a hanging offense, there'd be bodies hanging from every tree!
Sylvester Stallone

Our modern society is engaged in polishing and decorating the cage in which man is kept imprisoned.
Swami Nirmalananda

Al

Who is that knucklehead in shorts?

2010-12-03T06:58:00.006-06:00

Since moving to Alabama we have talked about making it to Athens' Christmas Parade. Well, we finally made it. As one friend observed....yes, we drove four hours in one day to watch a parade:) But not just any parade, it was about an hour and a half parade! Not kidding. There were two "breaks" in the parade to allow the parade participants to disperse without holding up everyone else.

To be fair, while some of the floats in the parade were awesome others were... well... let's just say it's the thought that counts:) But some were just plain advertising with one string of lights on it. Not kidding, there was a truck from a nationally known retail leader with just one string of Christmas lights on it. Seriously? But hey, the kids LOVED it!

On to the knucklehead, me. Yes, it is once again Winter and I am still in shorts. My general rule is that is if the high is above 30 degrees the shorts are a go. Partly because I just do not like long pants. This goes way back to my High School days. Partly because I carry so much stuff that I need the cargo shorts and partly because I just like sticking it to "the man." :) Hey, I am a SAHD so I can thumb my nose at the man anytime I want. I actually think I am not just entitled to do so but it is down right required of me. Plus, at Church we are always talking about living in such a way to make people wonder what makes us different. Maybe that is my new response to all the looks/questions I get about wearing shorts when it is cold.... "Hey, don't you know that it is cold buddy?" "Yeah, but I love Jesus." On second thought while very funny maybe it sends the wrong message.

We got home around 11pm and it was midnight before the CFO and I got to bed after clearing out the van, starting laundry, washing the sippy cups/dishes, and getting the Triplets' lunch ready for Friday. Was it worth it? Ya sure ya betcha!! Memories are way better than sleep:)

Here is one of the coolest pics that the CFO took at the parade... with no editing.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
Mark Twain

The smaller the mind the greater the conceit.
Aesop

Al

The easiest time picking out a tree ever!

2010-11-30T07:37:00.000-06:00

Traditionally we pick out and put up our Christmas Tree the weekend after Thanksgiving. Sunday we headed to Lowe's to pick out a tree. I steeled myself for the challenge. You know how it goes.... what do you think of this one? Oh no, there is a hole in this one. Untie this one then that one. Shake it open. That is too tall or too short. No, it is too dry. Too fat or too small. On and on it goes until we find the "right" one, we give up to try another day or we settle.

But not this year, no sir! As we walked into Lowe's I was prepared for the worst. We are a bit picky when it comes to Christmas Trees. Well, we are just picky in general:) We like Nobels. Not the people, the tree Nobel Fir. Not that we don't like Nobility as I don't know any but I just don't see the need for it these days. But I digress:) Much to our surprise another family is standing in front of the Christmas Trees looking at two awesome looking Nobel Firs. Not just Nobel Firs but 8 ft Nobel Firs! One was skinny and one was .... well... husky:)

They were doing the Christmas Tree dance. The one where they all take turns holding each tree while the others stand back and the holders spin the tree. The CFO asked "would you like us to hold the trees so you all can look at them at the same time. They were a bit bewildered but said thank you. Luckily for us they chose the larger one and we took the smaller one. I have no idea how long they had been there to find those two trees but they were both great. We were done inside two minutes after getting out of the van!

BTW.... War Eagle!

Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care.
William Safire

When I played pro football, I never set out to hurt anyone deliberately - unless it was, you know, important, like a league game or something
Dick Butkus

Al

I am thankful I am not shopping

2010-11-26T07:10:00.001-06:00

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE shopping and spending money, just ask the CFO:) But it seems that Black Friday deals are not as great or awe inspiring as the use to be, thanks to technology. Most items are already at rock-bottom prices if you know where to look thanks to Google and the like. Now I know you can get Zhu Zhu Pets for $4 at Wal Mart but other than a few really good deals.

If you are already looking to buy something then you can probably find it cheaper today than other days but I don't know that it was worth staying up till midnight or getting up at 3am for, but hey, that is just me. Not to mention you can get a lot of this stuff online anyway. I know, I know, some people just love the thrill of the hunt. You know what I like better? Staying at home in our warm, dry house, eating bacon and eggs with a good cup of coffee while buying Talladega Nights for $1.99 from Amazon with free shipping. But hey, that is just me:)

If you were not feeling all that thankful this Thanksgiving just watch the news. I PROMISE someone else has it worse than you. I for one am thankful for all the stuff that frustrates me. You know...

family - nuff said:)
taxes - a job
traffic - a car
weight - food to eat
dirt/dust - all the stuff I clean
yardwork - a house

The list could go on and on. So for at least one day out of the year I try to look at the bright side of all the stuff that makes me crazy. But that was yesterday... now I need to deal with my crazy family as we complain about "wealth redistribution", 280 traffic, how fit we use to be and wonder when I will find the time for all my house work and get the flower beds weeded.

Illusion is the first of all pleasures.

Oscar Wilde

The Pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts. No Americans have been more impoverished than these who, nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving.
H.U. Westermayer

Al

Biking

2010-11-24T07:35:00.000-06:00

We got the Triplets bikes for their Birthday. Well, everyone got them bikes for their birthday. Bikes are not cheap! My best friend growing up, the Marine Doc, bought them their new helmets. I always laugh about how safety conscious we/I am now compared to when I was a kid riding in the "gunner" spot of a station wagon down the highway.

The CFO had the idea to take the Triplets to the culdesac at the end of our street to let them ride some. The only challenge is that it is at the bottom of a hill. We made it down and back up with little issues. The only real challenge was that I was holding/pushing two at once and they had to ride close to each other without running into me, each other or stretching me out too far.

Next up, learning to ride without training wheels. Maybe in the Spring when I can find a nice hill with a gradual slope. I taught my self at a neighbors house in his yard. I want to wait till they want to do it.

For instance, the bicycle is the most efficient machine ever created: Converting calories into gas, a bicycle gets the equivalent of three thousand miles per gallon.

Bill Strickland

I'm lazy. But it's the lazy people who invented the wheel and the bicycle because they didn't like walking or carrying things.

Lech Walesa

An update on the rewards (bribery)

2010-11-23T07:32:00.000-06:00

A while back we started rewarding (bribing) the Triplets with chocolate milk if they stay in their beds at night. It usually works. I have upped the ante by also offering toaster strudels if the ALL stay in their beds at night. This has been a rare occurrence.

Last night I got home late from celebrating Nuke Doc's Birthday. We saw Inception and it is LONG, a great movie but LONG. When I got home the CFO said "I have something you need to see. I thought ugh-oh. See, I dropped the Triplets off at the CFO's work at 4:30 pm and she had the evening with them while I hung out with Nuke Doc and another friend, the Toolman. Since she had them, or I should say they had her, to herself/themselves I was a bit nervous about what I was going to see.

William was dead asleep in our front hallway. It seems he had gotten out of bed and upon noticing that the CFO was still awake he decided to just wait her out. Needless to say, he spent the rest of the night in our bed. I then woke up sandwiched between the boys this morning. I just keep reminding myself that there will come a day when they don't want to spend time with us.

One of the indictments of civilizations is that happiness and intelligence are so rarely found in the same person.

William Feather

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday
Proverb

Al

What to do, what to do

2010-11-22T06:57:00.007-06:00

So here I sit with "nothing" to do. Luckily for me there is a dirty messy house and a yard that needs tending to not to mention my little trio running around me. BTW, I started writing this at a little before 7am and just finished it a little after 8:20am. I don't think I will have a hard time staying busy:)

Always gotta keep busy or the voices start telling me to do wild things.
Steve Brown

Al

The sweetest prayer

2010-11-21T07:26:00.001-06:00

The Triplets usually thank God for things like Oreos, their blankets and the like. Or if they pray "for" something is is related to helping someone or a group of people that we have talked about. The other night when we were saying prayers Jackson said one of the sweetest and simplest prayers:

Please let everyone know the truth of God's love.

Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one's weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart.
Mahatma Gandhi

Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you.
Saint Augustine

Al

One more day

2010-11-18T10:35:00.001-06:00

Tomorrow is the last day of my contract recruiting position. Now if I can only remember all the stuff I have wanted to blog about over the last month I will have a lot to write about:)

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
Mark Twain

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.
Maria Robinson

Al

The final stretch

2010-11-12T06:59:00.003-06:00

I am in the final stretch of my contract recruiting position. It ends Friday, 11/19. Like most things I am a bit sad and a bit sanguine about 11/20. I will miss the thrill of the hunt (recruiting is hunting), the excitement of success in hiring someone and the interaction with other adults not to mention the money:) But I am looking forward to "using" the 30 hours a week I spent working. I cherish my time with the kids more already. I also have a crispy new Black Ops game staring at me just begging me to come play:)

I look forward to being a full time SAHD again but I also look forward to being a recruiter again.

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.
Al Franken

Al

The CFO rocks yet again!

2010-11-10T06:49:00.003-06:00

Anyone who knows anything about marriage knows it is (should be) a partnership. In any good partnership there is give and take. So in our partnership I have been taking time away from cleaning because of my contract recruiting position. This past weekend the CFO gave.... big time! This past weekend she (we) hosted her parents, her aunt and her grandmother. She also cleaned the basement (no small task), washed the sheets from the guest beds (also remade the beds with the clean sheets), and cleaned all the hard wood floors but I somehow woke up Monday with no laundry to do. She had washed and folded everything!!!

OK, I know that sounds good but the best is yet to come... We have a PS3. A year ago I was debating whether to buy the Xbox or the PS3. At the time there was no comparison. With WiFi and a blue ray the PS3 won hands down. But now I have since realized that all my friends have Xboxes. That is an issue as when you play online PS3s do not play with Xboxes. I guess it is OK to be prejudice in cyberspace:) As I have been making a little extra money for the family I have been looking at Xbox bundles. The CFO and I talked about it last tonight. I will let you be the judge of how great of a wife/partner she is..... her last comment before heading to bed was "it (buying an Xbox) only makes sense if we buy a bigger TV for the living room."

Nothing will work unless you do.
Maya Angelou

Al

Holding each other accountable or tattling?

2010-11-08T08:06:00.001-06:00

William: "Daddy! ..... Daddy! .... Daddy!" from upstairs
Daddy: "Yes sir, William"
William: "Jackson got out of the time out spot you put him in!"
Daddy: "He put himself there buddy, he was not in time out"
William: "Oh."

I don't want them to be tattle tails but I do want them to hold each other accountable. Just another line that constantly moves:)

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)

Al

Halloween recycling

2010-11-01T08:28:00.002-05:00

When we got home from trick or treating we were almost out of candy to give to the people coming to our house. What to do? You got it! Go through the Triplet's candy and give out what they can't eat, hard candy and the like!

Our last trick or treaters just wanted directions out of the neighborhood:)

Hope you had a GREAT Halloween!

Al

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.
Erma Bombeck

Hold on, man. We don't go anywhere with "scary," "spooky," "haunted," or "forbidden" in the title.
Shaggy

Al

Week three of working "outside the home" but from home

2010-10-27T07:23:00.002-05:00

I have been carving out about 25 hours a week so far. I have watched no TV, my new video game is still shrink wrapped, the house is not too dirty, the clothes are clean, the sheets are clean, the bed is made, luckily the grass has not grown much and the Triplets are not watching much more TV. On the downside the basement is a MESS! The CFO is taking a day off of work to clean it up for our Halloween party this weekend.

Did I mention .... the CFO Rocks!

Sometimes people are layered like that. There's something totally different underneath than what's on the surface. But sometimes, there's a third, even deeper level, and that one is the same as the top surface one. Like with pie.
Joss Whedon, Zack Whedon, Maurissa Tancharoen, and Jed Whedon, Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog, 2008

A man's best fortune, or his worst, is his wife.
Thomas Fuller

Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first.
Billy Sunday

Al

If it works in politics it might work here

2010-10-20T08:12:00.000-05:00

It is funny when you listen to people give political speeches, in political ads, or any type of political rhetoric there is usually mention of the "American Way." Well, from where I sit it seems the "American Way" includes kickbacks, subsidies, and bribes. So I figured I would give it a try at home. Oh, I'm sorry, we call it "rewarding good behavior.:)

In an effort to reclaim our bed I am "rewarding" the Triplets with a tall glass of chocolate milk in the morning if they stay in their beds from when they go to sleep till it is light outside. Yes, I will change it some when it stays dark late, maybe I will teach them to tell time:) Of course that could backfire when we try to get them to bed early. So far it has worked 2 out of 3 nights. Jackson gave up his chocolate milk last night but I think he might make a different choice tonight as he was most unhappy watching his siblings enjoy their chocolaty treats this morning.

There is no nonsense so arrant that it cannot be made the creed of the vast majority by adequate governmental action.

Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)

In the last few years, the very idea of telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth is dredged up only as a final resort when the alternative options of deception, threat and bribery have all been exhausted.
Michael Musto

Al

One week down, almost

2010-10-16T07:41:00.001-05:00

After Friday I have 22 hrs and 45 minutes of real "work" done. Keep in mind I still have Saturday and Sunday, depending on when the Agency I am working through ends their weeks. Things don't seem to be too bad. I still need to fold some laundry and get it put away and clean some but all in all everything seems OK.

So where did those 22 hours come from? We did not leave the house two days last week so I could get some housework done while the Triplets played. No naps for me, I usually got a nap in when they nap. No TV, movies or video games. I have the newly released Medal of Honor game staring at me from the mantle still in its shrink-wrap. The yard still looks OK though I have not weeded or mowed. The house is pretty clean but not as clean as we like it. And finally, about 5 or more of those work hours have come off of my sleep.

But there has been some good that has come out of this so far. I am much more focused during my "free time." I also enjoy my time more when I play with the Triplets. Not that I didn't enjoy it before but it seems a bit more special now. Finally I am reminded of what a gift it is that I am able to stay at home with the kids. It is truly a luxury that many are not allowed or not able to do.

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)

Al

A caviot to the rant

2010-10-15T08:00:00.001-05:00

One dear friend mentioned how it is frustrating that everyone seems to "require" a degree these days but she has gotten those jobs when she networked and got an interview. So I wanted to add a little to my rant.

I can handle it when someone does met one or two of the criteria because I am flexible. But lets say here is the criteria:

Bachelors Degree
a minimum of 1-3 years of retail experience
local candidates only
legally allowed to work in the US for any employer

Here is an example of someone that makes you want to call a candidate and ask them if they can read:

Has a "certification" in management
Worked for and/or ran a lawn service for five years
Lives two states away
Requires sponsorship to work in the US

I am all for being flexible but it would be like if you go into the Gap asking for jeans and they brought you a pair of shorts or a jacket.

Have fun and laugh at something today,

Al

A rant on Candidates

2010-10-15T00:08:00.000-05:00

If you are wondering where I am getting the time/energy for this little rant it is because I have just finished my second Monster of the day at 11:45pm on Thursday. The website for the company I am contracting with just gave me this message: "This site is either undergoing maintenance or is experiencing technical difficulties. Please try again later. Thank you." I feel like they just broke up with me by saying "it is me, not you" :) lol

Back to my rant... I have jumped back into a world that few people get to see... the other side of the application. I know it is a pain and painful to look for a job, apply for a job, and interview with a company. You know why? Because people are IDIOTS! The position I am recruiting for clearly states that they want candidates with a 4 year Bachelors degree. I get High School students and people with a BA from a two year Community College, I think they mean B.S. :)

Hey, I have been on the other side of the table but like I always say, hate the game, not the player:) PLEASE, PLEASE only apply for the position you are qualified for and that you WANT! I cannot tell you how many people are "willing" to take a job. Wow! Thanks for doing me the favor of filling a position where you will make everyone else unhappy as you bemoan about how you really want to be a (insert other job) but you took this job to pay the bills. Not to mention we then have to train you, fix your mistakes then backfill your position when you find another job that is "in your major."

If I sound angry it is because I am channeling the younger me. I have learned how to laugh at this. It is part of the job. But it is also the reason you don't get a response every time you apply for a job. It is also the reason that it is not easy to apply with many companies much less get an interview. They want to see how bad you want to work with them. Unfair? Yes. But you know what's fair...... it comes to town once a year:)

P.S. I got 3hrs and 15 mins of "work" in today.

Given a choice between two theories, take the one which is funnier.
Blore's Razor

Resume: a written exaggeration of only the good things a person has done in the past, as well as a wish list of the qualities a person would like to have.
Bo Bennett

If you call failures experiments, you can put them in your resume and claim them as achievements.
Mason Cooley

Al

Days two and three

2010-10-14T09:19:00.000-05:00

Day two was another stay at home day. We played outside and I did some dusting, vacuuming and of course laundry. I also got three hours of work in with my day ending at 11:30pm.

Day three the Triplets went to their day out program and for extended care so I could get in six and a half hours of work. No housework other than what Roomba did for me and the normal SAHD stuff. In addition to some system issues that come with any new position I had one great interview, sourced a few new candidates and did some cold calling dealing with the usual somewhat annoyed people:)

Choppy hoey diggy,
Bob Pollard

Al

Work, day one

2010-10-12T08:00:00.000-05:00

On day one of my contract position I squeaked out a measly three hours and eight minutes of "real" work. Keep in mind this is addition to the Triplets, washing, folding and putting away the laundry, and all the normal cooking, cleaning and other SAHD stuff.

Back to the grind, I won't even tell you how much money I am loosing by posting this:)

Nobody got anywhere in the world by simply being content.

Louis L'Amour (1908 - 1988)

No more slacking

2010-10-09T08:16:00.001-05:00

It seems that the days of me slacking are coming to an end, at least for a while. I am helping a friend out at one of my previous employers with some part time (20-40 hours) contract recruiting. She is helping me out by paying me:) The challenge as I see it right now is carving out 20+ hours out of my somewhat busy week.

Let's see... The first to go is my time when the Triplets are at their day out program. They go three days a week and I can put them in extended care to give me about 18 hours a week. Now, let's see what I do that is non-productive that can be shelved for the next six weeks. No watching TV, movies, playing the PS3 (this SUCKS because I have the new Medal of Honor pre-ordered and coming in the mail next week), limited blogging, no reading other blogs, and no FaceBook. If I do all that and give up a bit of sleep I should be able to carve out about two hours a night plus have interviews scheduled throughout the day and weekends. See how much slacking I have been doing!

I would not want to keep this up forever but for a month and a half I can do anything. Back before kids I use to go into work around 6 or 6:30 and work till 7pm only to come home and do about two hours of work. I would also go in most Saturdays for a little while. Did I mention I was a workaholic? Now I just need to get back up to speed on the software they use. Oh yeah, and stock up on sleep:)

The men who really believe in themselves are all in lunatic asylums.
G. K. Chesterton (1874 - 1936)

All things are difficult before they are easy.
Thomas Fuller

Al

No whining allowed

2010-10-07T06:42:00.000-05:00

I always get onto the kids for whining but it seems we get away with it as adults a lot. One case in point is a post from a part time SAHD.

If this kind of complaining was about something more "manly" like work, sports, drinking, etc... the response from other men would be one of the following: turn your skirt around, suck it up Sally, or some other remark to make him fell like he is acting like a girl. Hey! Men suck it up buddy. Forget all this drum beating, emotion sharing, man scaping, metrosexual mess that society has us believing. We dudes do what it takes to get IT done and we don't whine or cry about it.

On the other hand... what if there is only one woman in a business meeting? Be sure you have read the article and maybe a few of the comments so you get the full value of my sarcasm here:) During the meeting the "boss" stops every time he says "you guys" to add "and lady." This is of course after he makes several comments about not having many women attend meetings and how "special" it is to have a lady in the room.

My point? SAHDs need to take the high road and let their results speak for themselves. I guess us guys are getting a taste of what women have had to deal with in business for a long time..... We need to keep our mouths shut and do a better job to be seen as equals. I am OK with that, are you? If not, go to work and leave the child rearing to the women, you sissy:)

The secret of life is to appreciate the pleasure of being terribly, terribly deceived.
Oscar Wilde

Old age ain't no place for sissies.
Henry Louis Mencken

Al

Halloween is coming!

2010-10-06T06:08:00.001-05:00

They say it's your Birthday...

2010-10-05T09:15:00.002-05:00

The Triplets love them some Birthday parties! But who doesn't? OK, maybe some of us are not big on our own Birthday party, but attending other parties is great. Of course you have to like a bit of somewhat organized chaos, like I do, to really appreciate them. I not so secretly like it when kids flip out, their head's pop off, come unhinged and you can actually hear the seams of their universe being torn in two. You know, a good old temper tantrum, and you can usually count on at least one at a Birthday party.

I know that enjoying a fit pitchin' by a youngster is more than a bit twisted, but I have always appreciated people losing their cool, even when it was directed at me. Keep in mind that I only like(d) it when I am not emotionally invested in the situation. That is one of the reasons I loved traveling for work back when I chose to work "outside the home." People freak out on a regular basis at airports.... "what do you mean delayed!! I don't care about the storm, get me to ...." This also rang true when I worked in various customer service rolls. I saw it as a competition. If they got me riled up they won.

Fortunately, for everyone else, there were no temper tantrums at our latest Birthday bonanza. Our friends, the Kiddie Lung Doc, always throw a great party with fun things for the kids to do. Not to mention the awesome strawberry cake!

Think twice before you speak, and then you may be able to say something more insulting than if you spoke right out at once.
Evan Esar (1899 - 1995), Esar's Comic Dictionary

I hope that when I die, people say about me, 'Boy, that guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
Jack Handey (1949 - ), Deep Thoughts

Al

Changing seasons

2010-10-01T08:20:00.001-05:00

I love the Fall but I do not like the challenges it brings with it... what to dress the Triplets in. In the mornings it is cool but it heats up to the high 70s/80s. Add to that being outside playing in the sun and it gets warm. So I am going with my favorite look... long sleeves and shorts. I see it as the perfect blend. It helps keep your core warm and your legs get the most warmth from movement so they don't heat up in shorts.

It also means their backbacks get a bit heavier as they need to have extra clothes for cool and warm weather. It is also a good time for me to rotate the extra clothes I keep in the van, my backpack and our go-bag. I feel bad taking up to three outfits out of the rotation but I choose the CFO's least favorites.

Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile.
William Cullen Bryant

Al

To go or not to go, that is the question

2010-09-30T08:33:00.001-05:00

Thanks in no small part to family and friends we have the opportunity to go see the last launch of the Space Shuttle Discovery. We would also loop in a trip to Disney as they are reasonably close to each other. That is the good news. The bad news? The launch is scheduled for 11/1 so we would miss Halloween traveling, it is VERY spendy, and it is twelve hours away.

So we need to make a decision. Go or no go? Let's look at each choice in more detail....

Go flight:

Twelve hour drive did I mention we have four year old Triplets?
Once in a lifetime chance to see the last launch of the Discovery
Large crowds and long lines
Disney

No go:

Trick or treating with the Triplets
We host our annual Small Group Halloween party
Save the money we would have spent

Normally I am all up for the challenge of long lines, spending money, lots of traffic, cranky kids, and large crowds but with it butting up against Halloween I am torn. If you ask the kids they want to go trick or treating. Recently we are more and more convicted that we need to use our money more wisely. You know, the way God would want us to spend it. Which makes my soul feel good but the rest of me (the fleshy part) feels no bueno.

So we pray.

Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the drug store, but that's just peanuts to space.

Douglas Adams

That intelligent creatures exist in outerspace is proven by the fact that they have not contacted us.

Loesje

Love the sarcasm

2010-09-29T06:37:00.001-05:00

If you have read my blog then you know I love sarcasm. I found this post the other day and would like to share it with you. It is titled Over Protective Mothers.

Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
Ambrose Bierce

Al

The two hour breakfast

2010-09-28T09:53:00.001-05:00

Jackson is the TOD (triplet of the day) so he got to choose breakfast. He chose pancakes, but just any pancakes but blueberry pancakes. But wait, there's more... he wanted Mickey Mouse blueberry pancakes. No problem, well, almost no problem. We only have one Mickey Mouse pancake form so I was/am limited on how many I can make at one time... one. I just finished, seriously.

I despise the pleasure of pleasing people that I despise.
Lady Mary Wortley Montagu (1689 - 1762)

Al

Being green

2010-09-27T08:58:00.001-05:00

I am no Al Gore but I try to be "green" when I can. Unfortunately I do not have a private jet to fly around saving the planet but I try to reduce my carbon footprint when possible, where possible and when affordable. BTW, do we REALLY think we are "saving" the planet? Let's be honest, we are trying to save US, the humans. As George Carlin would say "the earth can shake us off like a bad case of fleas." The planet will eventually heal itself, it has time, we do not.

Back to trying to be green like Al Gore minus the jet and the beard. Packing the Triplets' lunch for their day out program got me thinking... a rare thing these days... well, OK just rare:) I use 6-9 plastic bags each day for their lunch that end up in a landfill. I have read where people use organic cotton bags for food but then they would need to be washed which uses water and electricity at a minimum. BTW where do we get off that using electricity is good like in electric cars? Most electricity comes from coal plus in those cool eco cars you have batteries which will end up where?... in a landfill! Back to my point. Or I could use containers but they also need to be washed and they might have BPA in them. Luckily the Triplets' got their smarts from the CFO so they have plenty to spare but I want to limit the loss of brain cells where possible.

Don't report me but we actually drink tap water...ooooooo! I know, how radical. Sometimes even unfiltered. That's right, sometimes I even run with scissors and drink milk past the expiration date. Don't try to stop me, I will only take you down with me. We do use some bottled water but primarily to keep in the van for when we need it on the road.

Now to the affordable part. I switched their sippy cups a while back to BPA free stainless steel insulated sippy cups, to the tune of $12 a pop! So I spent $72 plus tax just for each of them to have two cups, one for water and one for milk. Did I mention that I am already sending four of them back for warranty repairs? It seems that been green is not always kid proof.

Time to go burn some fossil fuel!

There is a sufficiency in the world for man's need but not for man's greed.
Mohandas K. Gandhi

Al

What kind of Man are you anyway?

2010-09-25T15:05:00.003-05:00

A recent post on Daddyshome Blog got me thinking what does it mean to be a "man" these days. That also begs the question of what it means to be a "woman" but I am not touching that one with your ten foot pole. It seems that there are a lot of different schools of thought from which to form a definition of what a man should be/do.

Biblical - Don't even try throwing Timothy 5:8 at me. If you do try to use that verse you first need to define "provide." The word provide shows up 101 times in the NIV according to BibleGateway.com. Looking at those verses it does not seem that "provide" means go to work and make money. But hey, that's just me. If you want to get Biblical on my why don't you try focusing on Ephesians 6:4. I see way too many Dads exasperating their children and I don't see any Religious "Leaders" doing sermons on that. I have to admit I am also guilty of it from time but then I try not to throw too many stones, I am too busy worrying about my glass house:) Also, does anyone consider that the only "true" view of what God really wants a man to be is in Genesis before the fall? The rest of what the bible says about the relationship between men and women is because of the fall and thus, in my mind is not what God "really" wants of us. BTW, you either take EVERYTHING in the Bible literally or EVERYTHING is in context. You choose which way you want it before you start throwing verses my way:)

Personal Experience - Many if not all of us develop our definitions of what "should be" from our experiences. For instance if you are a fan of Mr. Mom, ala 1983, then you probably envision SAHDs as flannel wearing, beard growing, slobs using 220, 221, whatever it takes to get it done. Or maybe you have read about or met men that do stay at home but don't like it.

Worldly - Whether we admit it or not this is why most of us scoff at SAHDs. People always like looking at the 50's and previous decades as the ideal to be lived up to. Of course you don't want to look past 1920 or women couldn't vote. You do still think women should vote right?

Here is a little sarcasm on the subject. OK, more than a little:) - I mean wanting them to be barefoot, pregnant, in the kitchen making pies is one thing but they should be equal to men on somethings right? Oh, I get it... they can vote but only if they vote the way their "man" tells them to. I mean, we don't want them thinking for themselves. If they start doing that they might start getting crazy ideas in their heads like that they can talk in Church. If they start that foolishness they may start wanting to do a man's job. Being a secretary or waitress is one thing but do we really want women to start getting advanced degrees? Sure they can be a teacher and teach boys and girls but we wouldn't want them thinking they can teach men things. If they started doing things like that who would watch the rug rats while we are out with "the boys" and making all those great decisions like what country to invade next.

Don't even get me started about what to call us SAHDs (Stay at Home Dads). I know some guys get all sensitive about wanting to be called something else but that sounds a bit like whining to me like how you have to say "do you work outside the home" to women. I am OK with saying I don't work. I am a SAHD and proud of it. But in case someone wants another acronym I propose "THE Man" with "THE" standing for Tactical Home Engineer. If someone doesn't like what we SAHDs do then they can just go pound sand. I think it is a far worse sin to be a workaholic and ignore your family while justifying it as "providing" for your family. If someone thinks being a SAHD is sad, a sin, don't respect it or think someone that does it is not being a man then I only have one thing to say...... jealousy is such an ugly thing ;)

Jealousy is the tribute mediocrity pays to genius.
Fulton J. Sheen

My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys."
Harmon Killebrew

He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.
Clarence Budington Kelland

Al

The McWane Birthday party

2010-09-24T06:40:00.000-05:00

A big THANK YOU to all of our friends at the McWane Science Center for a GREAT Birthday party last weekend! Of course we went with the animal option for the kids. There was a Madagascar hissing cockroach, a spotted gecko, a Malaysian leaf frog and a chinchilla.

Another big THANK YOU to all of our friends a Publix for not one but two awesome cakes!

The Triplets loved blowing out their candles.

After all the fun in the party room everyone played in the McWane Center until about three or so. The Triplets love the touch tank. Yes, that is a shark:)

It's never too early to panic.
Unknown author, provided by Kelly Netherton

It is better to wear out than to rust out.
Bishop Richard Cumberland

The only person to get all their work done by Friday was Robin Crusoe.
Author unknown

Al

Kids say the darndest things

2010-09-23T07:26:00.001-05:00

I taught one of our children's classes at Church last night. I really like interacting with the youth at our Church for two reasons. One, I get a glimpse of what I am in for with the Triplets. Secondly, I get a chance to listen to them. It seems I learn more about myself than they learn during our time together. Hopefully they get something good out of it too:)

Last night we were talking about respect and how you don't have to like someone to respect them. I asked them for examples of people that they do not always like but they need to always respect. I got some expected general answers like parents, teachers, coaches, etc... They also mentioned some specific names but one kid took the cake when he turned to me and said "my Mom doesn't like you." I laughed out loud. He tried to continue/explain but he was quickly interrupted by the barrage of others' answers. I told him that that is OK and we moved on.

I was actually a little excited at the news as it is a running joke with the CFO that "everyone likes Al". I now had more solid proof that just is not so:) There is actually someone we are friends with that says they don't like me just because everyone else does. Jealousy is such an ugly thing:) But with a wife like the CFO, great kids like the Triplets and the "cush" job of being a SAHD who wouldn't be jealous?

There is always more misery among the lower classes than there is humanity in the higher.
Victor Hugo (1802 - 1885)

Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
Erica Jong

Al

Someone got overlooked when they handed out cake

2010-09-22T06:33:00.000-05:00

We are not sure how it happened but unfortunately Jackson got overlooked when the cake was handed out. When I took this picture I wondered why he was sad and I did not find out till we got ready to leave and he asked for cake. Don't worry, he has gotten more than his fill since then. We also told him to be sure and tell us when he wants/needs something. But I still feel terrible about it.

The third time is the charm

2010-09-20T13:06:00.001-05:00

Saturday we had the third and final Birthday party for the Triplets. This was the Big One at the McWane Science Center. When we entered the Science Center we were greeted by William.....

In addition to being a finalist in the Birmingham Parent Cover Kids contest the Triplets are in the latest edition of the McWane Center's magazine, Eureka. Well, all but Jackson. He was a bit more interested in playing than having his picture taken during the photo shoot.

I would have the pasted the whole cover but it seems that my all in one printer/scanner is on it's last leg. So all I can get is a partial scan till our new one comes in.

If you haven't already, don't forget to vote for them!

I have no use for people who throw their weight around as celebrities, or for those who fawn over you just because you are famous.
Walt Disney

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too.
P. J. O'Rourke

Al

Birthday, take two

2010-09-15T07:43:00.001-05:00

The CFO takes the Triplets' Birthday off each year so we can have a day of fun. She even gave me another Birthday gift by letting me sleep in till nine! She rocks. When I got up everyone was fed, bathed and dressed. More rockage. We soon took the Triplets to the basement to show them their bikes. To say they were excited was an understatement. Of course I had to explain to Jackson that the spiders on his bike were Spider-Man stickers which meant he did in fact have a Spider-Man bike.

We quickly realized that our number one rule even applies on Birthdays. After a few meltdowns, temper tantrums and wrecks we headed to IHOP for lunch. After lunch we went to the kiddie casino, Chuck E. Cheese. They even have a game that is almost just like a slot machine including a lever you pull. "The Man" starts his indoctrination early. It is always interesting "teaching" them to play each game. My favorite is Skee Ball. Of course it is a bit challenging getting them to roll the ball verses throwing it. Over the next two hours or so we blew through 200 tokens having fun and earning enough tickets for our trio to each get a package of pop rocks and their own cotton candy. Let the sugar rush ensue.

After a good nap back at the house we headed to Publix to pick up some dinner and get them a small ice cream cake.

All in all we had a great day. One celebration more to go....

Times have not become more violent. They have just become more televised.
Marilyn Manson

Al

Your awesomeness is only surpassed by your humility

2010-09-13T08:05:00.001-05:00

A little while back one of the CFO's friends from College visited with her family. Her teenage daughter and I have a very brief but funny conversation.

Teenager: I am awesome!
Me: Your awesomeness is only surpassed by your humility.
Teenager: Huh?

To be humble to superiors is duty, to equals courtesy, to inferiors nobleness.
Benjamin Franklin

Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.
Albert Einstein

Al

Entitlement

2010-09-11T09:16:00.001-05:00

I saw an article yesterday that made me think of the entitlement that we all feel from time to time. Whether that be as parents, Americans, Christians, or whatever label we or other people put on us. Here is the article for you to read: Message to parents getting louder: No screaming babies allowed!

First, some observations...
The article, like many articles or news reports, it is written to incite a reaction from the reader.
The sign that the restaurant posted saying “Screaming Children Will NOT Be Tolerated!” is seen as being anti-child rather that pro-quiet. If it said "Cussing Will NOT Be Tolerated!" would people that regularly use profanity feel discriminated against?
The restaurant in NY that banned strollers was also seen as anti-child rather that pro-safety and pro-service as a bunch of strollers could block the space between the tables. If they banned parking bicycles in the restaurant would bikers get mad?

I see more and more that everyone wants everyone else to conform to what they want. If someone smokes they want to smoke everywhere. If someone doesn't smoke they don't want people to smoke anywhere. Parents want to let their kids act any way they want and go anywhere they want with them. People that are child free want kids not to be seen or heard. What happened to voting with your feet by going somewhere else?

It also seems that everyone wants proprietors to cater to them also. It seems eating and drinking establishments must have the following sections:
Child free
Smoke free
Cell phone free
Casual clothes free
Tattoo free
etc....

How about a "complaining free" section? I suggest one simple sign for every public place "Use common sense or choose somewhere else to eat." I know common sense is uncommon these days but let me suggest some initial common sense rules:

If your child is screaming and you cannot calm them down in less that a minute or so then take them outside.
If your cell phone rings, answer it and go outside or away from others to talk.
When talking on a cell phone use a "normal voice" (under 70db).
If you are unable or unwilling to talk under 70db then text them.
At meals your child needs to stay in their seat.
If they do not stay in their seat then take them to the car.
If your child makes a mess then you clean it up.

I have three four year olds and try to follow these rules. Yes, it means that I sometimes eat my food at home rather than at the restaurant. Yes, it means that I need to be "inconvenienced" by my children but guess what.... I chose to have kids.

If people don't start using common sense then Congress will legislate it. Oh, wait, they already do, they tell restaurants what they can fry food in rather than letting us choose where to eat.

OK, I am off the soap box, for now:)

No one asked me to be an actor, so no one owed me. There was no entitlement.
James Earl Jones

I don't have a sense of entitlement or that I deserve this. You'd be surprised at the lack of competition between nominees - I think a lot of it's imposed from the outside. Can I have my champagne now?
Cate Blanchett

Al

Birthday, take one

2010-09-10T08:17:00.000-05:00

Just like last year we are having a Birthday extravaganza that involves multiple parties. Take one was at Mimi and Granddaddy's on Labor Day. A lot of the in-laws made it for the last minute party. The CFO and Uncle Tommy fired up Granddaddy's new grill to cook steaks for the adults while Granddaddy cooked hamburgers and hot dogs on his old grill for the kids. Everyone had a great time and the Triplets came away with some cool toys like a Bat Cave, a baseball set, a boxing set, a cool frog game (even me and the CFO like to play) and books.

Now I just need to finish getting those bikes put together:)

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
Chili Davis

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.
Dave Barry

Al

Birthday alert

2010-09-09T08:43:00.001-05:00

We are less than a week away from the Triplets' fourth Birthday! We are giving them bicycles for their Birthday. But being a man you know that I can't do things the easy way:)

Addison's wish is easy. She wants an Ariel (Little Mermaid) bicycle. Thankfully there is a Disney Princess bike that has Ariel on it. Jackson wants a Spider-Man bike. There is one that is for sale many places but it is two pieces of sheet metal welded together and it received very poor reviews. The biggest challenge was that William wanted a Batman bike. There was one for sale earlier in the year but I dragged my feet and now, no bike. There is a "Dark Knight" one that is the same as the Spider-Man one. What to do?.....

I came up with the great idea of buying the boys two bikes that I could "transform" into Batman and Spider-Man bikes. By "transform" I mean remove all the stickers and purchase replacement Batman and Spider-Man stickers. But for some reason that sounded too simple so when reading about the bikes I saw where the wheel bearings in the bikes rarely had much grease in them so they did not spin very well. Upon delivery of the bikes I noticed that this was true and the pedals did not spin freely. No problem, buy new pedals and repack the bearings!

True to form I have taken an easy task, buying bikes for the kids, and made it morph into a project that requires additional purchases of stickers, bike tools and a bike stand. I love being a guy:)

We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones.

Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680)

Men don’t want anything they get too easy. But on the other hand, men lose interest quickly.

Tennessee Williams, A Streetcar Named Desire

On the road again... and again... and again....

2010-09-07T06:20:00.001-05:00

We are not stranger to road trips, with or without the Triplets. They were born in Texas and we made more than a few twelve hour treks to Alabama to see the in-laws. Several of those we drove through the night so our little trio would sleep. We even did late night/early morning drives while we were "child free" leaving after work in NC to arrive at the in-laws around two in the morning or so. Once when the in-laws visited us in Seattle we drove 1800 miles during their week long visit as we checked out all the sights.

The last ten days will also go down in our history as one of the crazy driving adventures of our lives. It all started on August 27th with a trip to see Uncle D, Aunt J and Cousin C near Nashville, TN for a 400 mile round trip. Then we headed up to the in-laws to drop the Triplets off for a weekend with Mimi and Grandaddy for a mere 200 mile round trip. Thursday we headed to NC for a quick (VERY quick) trip to see my Dad. We have lots of very good friends in NC but had no time to visit as this was a purpose driven trip. My Dad is de-cluttering his place and the CFO did not trust me to choose what we wanted:) We headed back to Alabama on Sunday to complete our 1100 mile round trip. Of course we still needed to head back to the in-laws to retrieve our trio for another measly 200 mile round trip. I know this is not much for you road warriors out there but after 1900 miles with 800 of them being with four year old Triplets, I am a bit fatigued.

The Triplets had a GREAT time!

The traveler sees what he sees, the tourist sees what he has come to see.
G. K. Chesterton

A man travels the world in search of what he needs and returns home to find it.
George Moore

Al

We want your vote!

2010-09-03T06:48:00.001-05:00

No, I am not running for any office nor will I ever. Let's just say I am a little too "virtuous" to run for any office:) But the Triplets on the other hand would like your vote. They made the finalists for the Birmingham Parent Magazine Cover Kids Contest. Once you click on the link scroll to the bottom and you will see an awesome picture of them under multiples.

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.
Darrin Weinberg

Those with few vices usually have few virtues,

Al

Where's Jackson?

2010-09-01T07:23:00.000-05:00

Man, it sure is quiet upstairs

2010-08-31T06:47:00.000-05:00

As any parent knows, it is not a good thing when the kids are being too quiet. I was fixing breakfast the other morning when I suddenly realized that the Triplets were playing together a little too well. I went upstairs to investigate.

Needless to say we spent a good part of our morning putting the playroom and playroom closet back together.

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?

Fred Allen (1894 - 1956)

If we insist that public life be reserved for those whose personal history is pristine, we are not going to get paragons of virtue running our affairs. We will get the very rich, who contract out the messy things in life the very dull, who have nothing to hide and nothing to show and the very devious, expert at covering their tracks and ambitious enough to risk their discovery.

Charles Krauthammer

That is cute

2010-08-30T06:52:00.000-05:00

Last night we had our usual little visitor in our bed, Jackson. I only noticed this because someone laughing woke me up. Yep, you heard me right, laughing. I was a bit annoyed but I quickly went back to sleep until I was once again roused from my slumber by laughter. OK, that's it. He's getting back in his bed. I got up and went around to the other side of the bed where he was and to my surprise he was asleep. I only noticed this when I picked him up and it startled him. "Oh" I thought "that's cute... annoying but cute." So rather than vanquishing him to his abode I just moved him to my side of the bed so the CFO could get a god nights sleep. No more laughing ensued.

A cute picture of the little giggler from an evening at the kiddie carnival.

I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.

Harry S Truman (1884 - 1972)

There are too many people, and too few human beings.
Robert Zend

Al

A six minute battle of wills....

2010-08-27T06:14:00.001-05:00

We have had a few of these over the past two and a half years but this is epic. It is also LONG so I don't blame you if you stop watching before it is over. Also, notice the cameos from William and Jackson:)

Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.

Mahatma Gandhi

If you think you can do it, or you think you can't do it, You are right.

Henry Ford

Did I just hear music?

2010-08-26T07:12:00.001-05:00

Musical beds definitely has a bad connotation for me. The Triplets each have their own single bed now but Jackson rarely sleeps through the night and William does about 60% of the time. Jackson is the most restless sleeper that I have ever known but he is a chip off the old block. I remember my parents talking about how I use to kick them all the time. But as far as I can remember I only got in bed with them during storms.

Now Jackson gets in our bed by 1am or so. Some nights it seems like he is just waiting for us to go to bed. He actually told me that one night around 11:30 pm. I heard the door to their room close so I went up to investigate. It is funny that how, as a parent, you learn to tell what they are doing by the sound, or the lack there of. I asked him if he was alright to which he responded "are you ready to go to bed? I want to sleep in your bed with you."

It is not uncommon for the CFO or I to end up in the guest bed with one of the Triplets. Jackson has a knack for turning perpendicular to us, kicking on one end and hitting you with his arms on the other so even our king size bed offers little solace. It is a gift he has:) This morning we woke up with William and Jackson in bed. I am torn. Should we make them stay in their beds all night or "enjoy" it while we still can before they grow up?

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book.
Irish Proverb

I slept like a baby last night... I woke up screaming every two hours.
Garry Brantley

Al

Breakout attempted

2010-08-25T07:50:00.000-05:00

Four to forty

2010-08-24T06:34:00.001-05:00

The Triplets turn four and I will turn forty in September. So I will be ten times older than they are. Man if that doesn't make you feel a bit old I don't know what will:) But seriously how did this happen? Last I remember I was in my late twenties and it seems like just yesterday that the Triplets were going through 24 bottles and diapers a day.

As the great philosopher Ferris Bueller said "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." What he doesn't mention is that it tends to speed up the older you get. I try not to say "I can't wait till..." anymore because I know I need to enjoy there here and now. I believe I do a pretty good job of it but like everything I do, I want to get better at it.

The question isn't "what are we going to do," the question is "what aren't we going to do?"
Ferris Bueller

You're not dying, you just can't think of anything good to do.
Ferris Bueller

Al

Sneaky

2010-08-23T07:36:00.002-05:00

The CFO (and I) bought a new comforter set over the weekend. It is one of those sets that speaks to America's (and my) over indulgence of stuff. Not because of it's cost as it was a screaming deal but because it has nine pillows. Two of which are those unusable square euro sham pillows. I even had to go buy euro sham pillows to go in the shams. They are called "shams" for a reason:)

William and I were talking in my bedroom when he looked at the mountain of pillows on our bed. He pointed to it and we had a brief conversation:

William: "I can hide behind all those pillows."
Daddy: "No, you are not allowed to play on Mommy and Daddy's bed."
William: "Well, when you go in there (pointing to the kitchen) I will sneak behind you and hide behind them"

We are working on the concept that even if Mommy and Daddy cannot see you make a bad choice it is still a bad choice and you are not allowed to do it. Funny how we (I) think we can hide stuff from God too:)

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.
Bill Cosby

Al

Accident or negligence?

2010-08-19T06:44:00.001-05:00

I am often times torn on whether to admonish or not when an "accident" happens. Take the other day for instance. We were at the grocery store after going to the YMCA. It was after 1pm and the Triplets were ready for lunch. So I decided to go with a popcorn chicken deal they had. The nice Publix employee put the chicken in three different containers so they could each have their own. But as our rule #1 tells us, this would have bad consequences. First Addison dropped her chicken and since it is "popcorn" chicken much of it landed on the floor. Right after I cleaned that up Jackson promptly dropped his. When I noticed a piece on the floor under where William was sitting I had enough and confiscated all the remaining chicken, which by this point was about half what we were given.

So I ask you.... accident or negligence? On their part, not mine:)

Barnum was wrong - it's more like every 30 seconds.
Unknown

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)

Al

Can we ride it?

2010-08-18T07:01:00.000-05:00

I am in trouble....

2010-08-17T06:37:00.000-05:00

I have mentioned before that I don't want to "make" the Triplets eat their food but I am not beyond rewarding them. We frequently won't let them eat their fruit until they eat enough of the meat and/or vegetables. Sometimes I break out the big guns and go with the double stuffed Oreo cookies. I mean seriously... why waste your time and calories on the regular ones. It would be like buying a doughnut and telling them to go easy on the glaze.

Here is how the conversation went at the lunch table:
Daddy: "If you eat both halves of your sandwich you can have an Oreo cookie."
Addison: "Two Oreo cookies?"
Daddy: "You can have two if you can say two in Spanish."
William: "Two in Spanish"

I laughed and explained that while that is very funny, that is not what I meant. He knew that, I knew he knew that and he knew I knew that he knew that. Oh the bantering that is yet to come with this crew.

William getting ready for a ride on in the tube.

Wit is a sword; it is meant to make people feel the point as well as see it.
G. K. Chesterton

Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.
Oscar Wilde

Al

Friday the 13th

2010-08-16T06:18:00.002-05:00

Some days I don't post because I am busy and some because I am lazy. Friday was a case of crazy busy. William was getting out of a seat at the kitchen table when all of a sudden he had what I call a gravity storm. He was suddenly clutching onto the island's counter top saying "I'm dizzy." I sat down with him and talked to him a minute quickly realizing that he was acting like he just did a double dose of the Gravitron. I went the the CFO and said "I think we have a problem."

As it was 7am I called the Dr.'s office to get the after hours number they give you on their five minute long message saying they are closed, if you are dumb enough to call this number during an actual emergency (do people call during simulated emergencies?) hang up and call 911 you moron, if you owe us money call back.... please please call back, if you still need us it will cost you, and oh yeah... if you have not already hung up or passed out yet please call 2058675309. Yep, they only say it once, they say it like the Fed-ex guy, and only when they are SURE you are not paying attention at the end of the message. You guessed it, I had to call back, lovely.

I ran through everything with the nurse that called back after leaving a message with the answering service and she said "yeah..... I would take him the the ER." So off we went. Grandma Jack left work to stay with Jackson and Addison as the CFO was on her last day of end of year so she had to go in. The CFO had to do a few entries (accounting stuff) and she was going to meet me at the ER. Heading to the ER is a catch 22. You want them to get better but you also want to know what is going on. If they get better, as William did, then it is hard to diagnose what happened, which it was. After some questioning, taking vitals, taking pee, taking blood, and an EKG they said he had a "spell." Superfantastic.

I will follow up with our Pediatrician today to see what he thinks. But after Jackson's sore heel turned out to be a bone infection two years ago we are a bit on the cautious side with the kids.

Medicine makes people ill, mathematics makes them sad, and theology makes them sinful
Martin Luther

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.
Lord Byron

Al

Down by the river!

2010-08-12T06:27:00.000-05:00

We had a great time with the in-laws down by the river. Cudos to you if hearing "DOWN BY THE RIVER!" reminds you of a SNL routine. So while our van was down by the river we actually stayed in a cabin with Mimi, Granddaddy, Aunt Julie, Kate (4), Abbie (4), and Trip (1). Not only did we go outside in the heat but Granddaddy and the CFO also grilled out!

Mimi spent some quality time with the kids playing some games.

Uncle Tommy came for dinner and to mix things up with water balloons but he was unable to play hooky from work as it was in the middle of the week. All the kids LOVE water balloons and luckily they like just busting them on the grass. Throwing them at people and using launchers will come in due time:) The CFO and I bought a tube to pull behind the pontoon boat Mimi and Granddaddy rented. You will notice it is sitting a bit low in the water. The boat held 12 people and only had a 50 motor on it. "Full throttle" was a bit lacking:)

Uncle Daniel, Aunt Joanna and Coleman spent half the day on the water with us in the morning. Uncle Daniel is already being a good Uncle teaching Jackson the finer points of being a boy (squirting the CFO). But notice that she is ready for the challenge!

Not content to sweat during the day we also went out at night looking for animals. The first night we found quite a few deer!

Good taste is the worst vice ever invented.
Edith Sitwell (1887 - 1964)

What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
Jeph Jacques

Al

We love you Mommy!

2010-08-11T14:18:00.000-05:00

Don't delete that photo just yet....

2010-08-11T06:29:00.000-05:00

From this....

to this....

The hottest days of the year

2010-08-10T06:27:00.003-05:00

You would think that on the hottest days of the year we hunkered down at home, closed the blinds, cranked the AC and watched movies. But that is what normal sane people would do, not a SAHD of Triplets! No sir, we went to the in-laws, rented a pontoon boat, went horseback riding and topped it off with a trip to the Kiddie Carnival.

To be fair we also rented a great cabin on the river for two of the four days we visited. Here were the views.....

Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.

Russel Baker

Kids know everything

2010-08-06T08:05:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was William's day to swim at the YMCA. He LOVES swimming and LOVES some one on one time. I even gave up my workout time to swim some more with him after the "pool break." During the break we ate a snack in the designated eating area/ant habitat. A young lady (around eight years of age) was eating a fruit roll up at the table next to us. William was of course very intrigued. He asked "what is she eating?" I told him it was a fruit roll up. He said "I want one." I told him that we could get some when they are on sale.

All of a sudden the young lady piped up and said "They are on sale now." To which all I could say was "oh, I guess we'll get some then, thank you." Too funny!

Next is a variation of no good deed goes unpunished. When the young lady and her mother came into the snack area/ant sanctuary the mother said "watch out for those ants, they might bite you." I told her that they weren't fire ants so they should be OK. Right about that time I felt a BITE! I looked down to see a big old ant biting the back of my ankle, NEWMAN! It itched the rest of the day/night and it still itches. I have gotten use to the CFO telling me I am wrong but an ant? Come on!

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.
Stacia Tauscher

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas.
Paula Poundstone

Al

The Magic House

2010-08-05T06:15:00.000-05:00

I was talking with the CFO the other night about how we live in a Magic House. She was intrigued and decided to play my little game. She indulges me from time to time as I have very little adult interaction during the day. She said "Really?" I then started to explain all the "Magic" that seems to happen in and around the house. I may turn this into a childrens' book so don't even think of stealing this idea or the totally cool illustrations I have in my head that go along with the story.

Empty cups that are set down suddenly appear in the sink and/or dishwasher.
The towels never seem to get dirty.
The clothes that we wear every day seems to reappear in our drawers, folded!
The toys that were left out before nap time have migrated back to their bins.
The bed makes itself every morning.
Come to think of it, the sheets never seem to get dirty either.
The van never runs out of gas and the CFO's company car even refills itself sometimes.
Batteries rarely go dead and if they do they seem to recharge overnight.
After dinner the table cleans itself once the dishes take themselves to the dishwasher.
The soap dispensers at each and every sink in the house never seem to run out of soap.
The toilet paper holders, tissue boxes, and paper towel holder never seem to run out of paper products.
Knives stay sharp and never dull.
Meals are cooked while the pots and pans stay clean.
The children rarely smell funny:)
Dirt does not seem to stay on our floor very long. Dog hair does stay a bit longer but then dogs are loyal aren't they:)
Dust may sometimes be visible on our dark furniture but it quickly disappears.
Air filters do not get very dirty and seem to clean themselves.
When the grass gets too tall it shrinks back down.
Annoying weeds frequently disappear.
Whenever a light burns out it seems to fix itself.
The Dog always has food to eat and water to drink.
All of the bills get paid and most of them on time:)
We never seem to run out of: soap, shampoo, detergent, toothpaste, dental floss, dishwasher soap, bread, milk, eggs and food in general.

I said: "is it little fairies doing all the work? Is it elves? Who knows? Or maybe it is like Disney World where they have all kinds of hidden tunnels where workers can move about the park without the guests knowing about it. Maybe we are the guests and our house has a team of workers that we don't know about. Maybe we should look for hidden tunnels." After listening to all this, all the while laughing where appropriate, the CFO nods and says "that is funny." Then she says "you know what? We also have a magic bank account." Touché

I know the CFO knows all that I do and she does truly appreciate it. Unfortunately far too many working parents that have a stay at home spouse do truly live in a magic house and they never even think to look for the purple curtain much less thank the person behind it who is pulling levers and pushing buttons 24/7 to make the magic happen.

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.
Tom Robbins

Al

Who took the chunks out of your pool noodle?

2010-08-04T08:05:00.000-05:00

Yard work and maintenance

2010-08-03T06:55:00.001-05:00

I decided to combine the last two as they are the duties that men usually do around the house. Thus, most of the stay at home moms I know don't usually handle them. I do know some that do but most do not. This is where I think it can be a bit tougher being a SAHD than a SAHM. I won't even get into the fact that society as a whole looks down on SAHDs a bit and some people even use religion (the worst thing to ever happen to God) to ridicule men that stay at home with their kids. No, I won't get on the soap box this time but I always keep it close:)

Yardwork:

Weeding - I detest weeding! The CFO helps out with this but there are only so many hours of daylight when she is home. Yes, I know the kids can help but you try teaching three three year olds the difference between a weed, a plant you want and poison ivy:)
Edging/weed-eating - If you have ever used a gas trimmer then you know what it feels like to get hit (in the face, shin, arm, etc...) with rocks, sticks, grass, etc...
Mowing - I try to mulch but with the kids not in a day out program this summer the grass is usually so high I need to bag it.
Blower - Yep, I am a bit picky so I blow everything after I am done. That also ensures a nice even layer of dirt on every inch of exposed skin:)

I have avoided planting for the most part and watering. The CFO usually does those and/or directs it being done and we got a sprinkler system put in last year.

Maintenance is one of those on-going joys (pains) that goes along with home ownership (paying the bank to let me use it).

Filters - You have your HVAC (heating/air) filters, water filter(s), and any others around like an air purifier filter.
Lights - With CFLs (compact florescent light) you don't have to change them as much but then you need to be careful not to break then and take them to recycling. But I am sure EVERYONE knows that as they have mercury in them.
Leaks - Toilets, drains, sinks, faucets, etc... if water goes through it, into it or out of it, it will eventually leak.
Vehicles - Thank goodness we just have the van to worry about but you still have to stay on top of everything.
Everything else - It seems that the Triplets have a way of finding the weak spot in anything and exploiting it. People, furniture, toys, etc... Guess who gets to fix it? Yep, me!

After listing all the stuff a stay at home parent does and going into it a bit of detail on each one you might think I am whining. Just the opposite. I am proud to be a SAHD as I know that there are very few men/people willing to do it and even fewer capable of doing it well. I won't say I am great at it but I should at least get between a "meets" and "exceeds" on my next review from the CFO:)

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
Tim Allen

Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.
Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Al

Homebodies

2010-08-02T07:02:00.001-05:00

We have been homebodies lately. It has been a confluence of events, the heat and my to-dos. Staying at home has it benefits and a downside.

Benefits:

You can get stuff done: cleaning, laundry, yard work, etc...
The Triplets get to exercise their imagination: no it's not a kitchen... it's a fort!
We save money.

Downside:

The SAHD gets a bit stir-crazy:)

Time outs do increase the more we are home. I eventually had to take their kitchens away after they kept jumping off the top of them. Luckily for them some friends came into town later in the week. I needed to get the guest room ready so they got their kitchens back.

The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

Home is a place you grow up wanting to leave, and grow old wanting to get back to.
John Ed Pearce

Al

Want to go to a football game?

2010-07-31T10:23:00.000-05:00

The other morning Addison, Jackson and I were sitting at the breakfast table (funny how that same table is the lunch table, dinner table, craft table, art table, etc....) talking when I was explain the difference between a good ticket and a bad ticket. The learned a cute thing at Church the other day. If they think something is good or a good choice they give it a thumbs up and say "right thing." But when it is bad or a bad choice they give it a double thumbs down and say "wrong thing." I told them that a ticket from a Police Officer was a wrong thing while a baseball ticket is a right thing. Jackson then said "a football ticket is a right thing." I asked if he wanted to go to a football game. He then said "when we go to a football game we can get a football!" I chuckled and said "no buddy, you don't get footballs at football games like you do baseballs at baseball games." To which I got a "WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!??????"

I love realizing all the stuff we take for granted.

Here are a few more pictures from our weekend with the in-laws.

The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only far more expensive.
John Sladek

Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it's much more serious than that.
Bill Shankly

Al

Rule #6 Don't do the crime if you can't do the time

2010-07-28T06:00:00.001-05:00

I heard myself repeating this once again the other day and decided that I needed to add it to our "House Rules." I was a Criminal Justice major in college so I believe in this adage whole heartedly. One of the other things I tell the kids is that I will do my best not to lie to them. So if I say something is going to happen, ya shur ya betcha it's gonna happen.

They hear this rule a lot when they are headed to or in time out, getting an upgrade or any ramification from their actions. Now if I can just remember that rule in my own life:)

Here are a couple of pics of William and Addison from our recent vacation. One of which shows Addison doing the time.

A human being has a natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910), Following the Equator

Al

Save a buck

2010-07-27T07:34:00.000-05:00

The CFO has gotten pretty good at cutting the Triplets' hair. She started out trying it out to save a buck here and there but she has gotten pretty good at it. Now she cuts their hair because we have had some BAD haircuts from some people. We now have our favorite hair cutter, Mr. Micky, but the Triplets' really want the CFO to cut their hair.

Here are a couple of pics from Jackson's haircut over the weekend at Mimi and Grandaddy's.

Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like.
Author Unknown

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
Sam Ewing

Al

This girl has got it going on!

2010-07-26T08:58:00.000-05:00

We went to the Barrons Baseball game the other Friday night. The YMCA had a screaming deal on tickets. A family of five could go to the game for $7. It was also free jersey night. Pictures? Nope, but in my defense it was raining and our camera bad is not waterproof.

We love sitting down the first or third base line as a lot of foul balls are hit down the base lines and most of them are grounders. Once there the ball is usually retrieved by one of the pitchers in the bull pen and given to a kid in the stands. Because of this we have gotten at least one ball at every game we have been to except for one. Without exception, Addison is the first to get a foul ball. She has already perfected the look, the cant of her head, and the wave. I feel bad for the guys in her future:)

And I highly recommend for all the women in the world, even if they're 71, you can never take for granted that he loves you. It's always good to flirt with him. It's a great sport.
Salma Hayek

Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her - when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her?
Helen Rowland

Al

Seven weeks to go.

2010-07-22T06:49:00.001-05:00

I was talking with another stay at home parent the other day when we realized that we still/only had seven weeks to go in the Summer until the kids headed back to school/day out programs. It is a mixed feeling that I have about this. On one hand I will be happy to start my routine of housework and yard work a again but I will miss all the fun with the Triplets. Not that we won't have fun when they are in the day out program but it puts us on a tight schedule.

Either way I have seven more weeks to cram more memories into!

God gave us memories that we might have roses in December.
J.M. Barrie

Memory is a child walking along a seashore. You never can tell what small pebble it will pick up and store away among its treasured things.
Pierce Harris, Atlanta Journal

Al

Jump!

2010-07-21T06:18:00.000-05:00

Laundry day(s) for the SAHD

2010-07-20T06:34:00.000-05:00

Laundry is one of the many things you have to stay on top of or you will get swamped. Wait a minute, everything is like that!

Of course you have the normal stuff like clothes for five people but it is the tedious stuff that drives me nuts. Like matching up socks. At a minimum we go through four pair of socks per day. You might have seen my post where I had ten unmatchable socks at one time. Ridiculous!

Not only do you need to wash and dry it all but then you also need to fold it and try to get it put away before the cycle starts all over again. I also need to wash towels, dish towels, wash clothes, napkins (we use cloth ones) hand towels, bath rugs/mats, etc... Keep in mind that there are four sets of sheets to wash and change.

The biggest challenge with the sheets is washing the kids' sheets and getting them back on their beds in between when they wake up and when they nap. Yes, having two sets per bed is a good idea but I don't see wasting the effort to fold sheets, just put them back on the bed. Heck, if it wasn't for the CFO I am not sure I would fold anything. I would probably only have seven or eight outfits for the kids and we would rotate through those each week.

BTW, what is the deal with the hostile fitted sheets and mattress covers? I do not remember having this problem before moving to Birmingham but now anytime I wash the fitted sheet/mattress cover they end up taking all the other clothes hostage. It is the same thing every time... I take care to separate everything coming out of the washer going into the dryer. I look back after thirty minutes and all I see is a ball of laundry, damp of course. I must then wrestle the rest of the load from the grasp of the fitted sheet. In the process it inevitably spits some of it's prey into the dog's water dish as retribution for freeing it's quarry. I can usually get it to give up on hijacking the entire load but it always picks off a few stray socks or shirts just to remind me of who's in charge. The coupe de grace is when I notice a lump in the bed after making it... THERE'S the missing sock!

I try to keep to a semi-usual schedule:

Sunday - kids' clothes
Monday - towels
Tuesday - darks
Wednesday - cleaning towels and napkins
Thursday - Sheets and whites
Friday - kids' clothes

Of course this is contingent on our weekly activities. There is extra laundry when we go swimming and the time line gets compressed when we go on vacation.

Marriage is about the most expensive way for the average man to get laundry done.
Burt Reynolds

Al

The tipping point

2010-07-19T06:05:00.000-05:00

At the Science Center there is a touch tank with sharks and sting rays. I have heard of kids taking headers into the tank but I always wondered how that happened. Well, thanks to a friend of mine, I now know. We ran into the Nuke Doc's family at the Science Center Friday down at the touch tank. One end of the tank has a slanted edge for shorter kids to be able to reach the water. It starts low and moves up to accommodate kids of different heights. They have a four year old and a two year old (C and E) so if they are standing together, which they were, then one is either too high or one is too low. What would you choose? Trust the four year old or listen to the two year old whine? She did what I would do and have done, trust that your child won't lean too far.

It doesn't take long for one of the sharks to come by. Turns out this one shark in particular is a sneaky little bugger that likes to tease you by coming at you close and shallow then going deep just before he is in reach. He did just that to the four year old. Not to be out maneuvered C continued his pursuit only using his two fingers, as instructed. The only issue was that those fingers are attached to his hand, which is attached to his wrist, which is attached to his arm, which is... oh, you get the idea. Next thing I know he is headed for a dip. It looked like he went a bit too far and one of his feet slipped putting him past the tipping point.

The Nuke Doc's wife moved into action letting go of E to grab C before he got another bath. So there she was holding C by a leg and an arm over the touch tank. She brought him back from the brink and everyone else seemed none the wiser. C was embarrassed but only wet up to the shoulder. I laughed the rest of the day.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Robert Benchley (1889 - 1945)

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
T.S. Eliot

Al

Sometimes you gotta stick to your guns

2010-07-16T06:28:00.031-05:00

For some reason the Triplets seem to have caught a bad case of the whine flu. As becoming four is just around the corner they are testing their limits again. Since I am "the heavy" in the family that means it is time to draw a line in the sand.

Early on in my career as a SAHD the CFO asked that I not use ramifications (punishment) that also punishes her. So I try to confine the "if you do or do not do this then we will or will not do that" to my time with them. Since Miss Kelly came to visit on Friday the Triplets have been on a tear. Yesterday, I drew the line.

It started early with some "demands" rather than "requests" from the Triplets:

Get my milk
No, you get it
NO!

You get the idea. Then it ramped up to repeated time outs for hitting. William was the TOD. I warned him that one more bad choice and he lost it. So I then got to be the TOD for a while after he hit Jackson, again. But just like God does me, I forgave them. We headed out for the day. I told them the plan:

Go to the CFO's work to take her thermos of coffee to her.
Toys R Us to look at bicycles.
Kohls to try on clothes.
The Department of Motor Vehicles (yes, I am crazy) to renew our tags
Grandma Jack's Pool

The only stipulation was that they had to make good choices. I know, that's one big stipulation. Kind of like the asterisk * on the add that tells you only the stuff that no one wants is on sale. Or the warranty* only covers the stuff that NEVER breaks. The CFO went with us to Toys R Us and we had a great time. Unfortunately Addison and Jackson fell asleep before we got to Kohls. When we arrived in the Kohls parking lot Addison belted out a command for me to carry her and I said "I would have if you asked nicely but you didn't so I am not going to carry you." She cried all the way to the store. Once in the store she ramped it up when I told her we were all going potty. So I upped the ante... I told her we were going to leave the store if she didn't stop. She didn't so I told her we were headed home. Her head popped off! We essentially walked in one door only to walk out the other door. I could hear people laughing as I walked back out the other door with the three of them following me, Addison a sobbing mess in the back. We stopped in the breezeway for me to give her another chance to pull it together. She almost had it when William hit the handicap door button, which I had told him not to touch. My next words "that's it, we are headed home, no pool today." Everyone fell apart. We walked back to the car with me smiling and them bawling. Sometimes it sucks being my kid:)

Keep in mind that I was smiling not because I was happy but rather a kind of... well... the CFO would call it an "evil grin." I had gone through the trouble of packing lunch (we did eat it at home) in the cooler and getting all of our pool stuff ready. I was also looking forward to swimming with them. But I do not get to choose when lessons will need to be learned. Yesterday, school was in session:)

Addison WAILED all the way home. We got home and it took her thirty minutes to get her sanity back. But by nap time she was back to normal. I could see it in her eyes, she just wanted to push me to see if I would break. What is this... hell week at the Fraternity house all over again? :)

genuwhine
\jen-yu-wine\ noun:
Sounds of distress made by a child for a legitimate cause (e.g. fever) as opposed to a petty annoyance (i.e., misplaced Nintendo DS). Rare.
Parenting Magazine

Al

SAHD Cleaning

2010-07-15T06:49:00.001-05:00

Next up, Cleaning! I have been thinking about cleaning a lot lately. Mainly because I have been behind in my cleaning ever since the kids' day out program ended in June. I don't have my designated free time to clean. Oh well, the CFO is very understanding but my PS3 is getting a little dust on it from the lack of playtime:)

When I think of cleaning a few main areas come to mind. I want to look at each one in detail.

The Triplets - I know that is a funny thing to start with but baths are the one thing that I did not look forward to as being the stay at home parent. Not mine silly, the Triplets'. Back when I started staying at home when they were 18 months old it was much more challenging (a beating).We now have fun but it still takes about an hour and a half if they have fun or 40 minutes if I am in a hurry. Another thing about baths is periodically cleaning their bath toys. Who ever invented and sells bath toys that actually squirt water have either never had a child or really believe in planed obsolescence as these things grow mold in them faster than a petri dish. I run the toys through the dishwasher on the sanitizing cycle from time to time. You also need to get their teeth brushed and flossed (yeah right) twice a day (yeah right). Add to that the constant cleaning of faces, hands and extremities. No, I do not use my spit on them, we use wipes.

The Kitchen is one of the heaviest used rooms in the house so it is the toughest to get and keep clean. The kitchen table gets washed down two to three times a day. Then you have the cook top, the counters, the dishes, the stuff you must handwash, loading/unloading the dishwasher, etc... Our Roomba spends a lot of time in the kitchen during nap time.

The House is easy and time consuming at the same time. For those of you that have not cleaned a house, I mean REALLY cleaned a house, it is a daunting and ongoing battle. Your main enemy is DUST! I can't wait for God to explain dust to me:) WHY is there dust? Not what causes it but why:) Here are the areas I hit. Some almost daily, while others are weekly, monthly, or whenever I notice an issue:

Baseboard - yep, they get dirty/dusty and we have 5" ones.
Chair rails
Molding
Window sills
Blinds
Tops of doors
Pictures - on walls and on furniture
Furniture - chairs, tables, beds, etc... under them, around them, etc...
All those stupid nicknacks people (we) own
Ceiling fans
Corners - cobwebs on the floor and the ceiling
Sinks, showers, tubs, toilets, mirrors, etc...
Towel rods
Toilet paper holder - YES, even they get dusty.
Refrigerator - the coils on the bottom, the inside, the outside and the top.
Cabinets - wipe down the outside and the inside
Windows - why lie, I pay someone once a year to do the inside and out. I just get the ones the kids and the dog mess up the rest of the year.
Lamps
TV and audio/visual equipment
Kids' potties - yes we still have them. I hope to be rid of them soon. Pee just seems to appear in these things!
Carpet, rugs, hardwoods - even under the furniture, thank you Roomba!
Microwave, toaster oven, coffee maker, etc...

I know I am missing some stuff but that is all I can think of right now.

Miscellaneous stuff must also be cleaned. The van for one. In my previous life is would totally clean my car once a week inside and out. Even when I had a company car for about six years and even when we lived in Seattle. But now the outside and the windows get cleaned about once a month. The inside gets cleaned out and vacuumed once a week. I am amazed at how much stuff the Triplets take into and then leave in the van. Hats, toys, bags, etc...

Add to all this the constant challenge to keep the house "picked up" with three three year olds running around. We periodically take a time out of what we are doing to clean up but that can be undone in the time it takes for me to find the chicken in the freezer that I need to thaw for dinner:)

To top all of this all of you must periodically clean/wash the stuff that you clean and wash with: cleaning cloths, dust cloths, dishwasher, clothes washer, wash buckets, dryer filter/vent, vacuums, etc... It all ends up with the shop vac at the bottom of the pile. I even blogged about our vacuum hierarchy in the house previously.

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
Paul Beatty

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office.
Heloise Cruse

Al